Expect the Unexpected by Robert Hanczyk February 23, 2000 "Apollo! I'm hit and I'm hit bad! Main Engines down. Maneuvering thrusters at partial power, if that. I have more sparks flying through here than a Cylon on a bad charge." There was a cold sweat forming on Starbuck's brow. It was an uncontrollable reaction. Being in this situation many times before, his mind knew what he had to do. His body thought different. There may have been a slight twinge of nervousness, but nothing to cloud his thoughts. On the panel to his left, a few more sparks spit out making his left arm twitch. A red glow reflected off his feet from a few hot wires under the forward panel. Frantically, Starbuck shut down any systems that could cause his viper to blow apart. That did not leave him much to work with. Apollo's viper was a few thousand metrons away. It was only visible to the naked eye if one knew where to look and even then it was hard to detect with only a dim light from the instrument panel. He was unaware of Starbuck's problems until the radio communication. "Activate your Emergency Beacon. I'll contact the fleet on the emergency channel and have a rescue shuttle on the way. Can you yaw left about forty degrees and pitch your nose down eighty degrees? There's a planet in range underneath. Try to go there until the shuttle catches up with you." Apollo calmly switched back to his attack radar. He noticed a trio of Raiders on a direct intercept course for Starbuck's viper. They would be there in three centons. Starbuck had enough on his hands already. It was not good making him worry about this. "I have to get back to help the others. I'll be sure to keep this area clear. Just get that ship on the ground in one piece." "Oh thanks," Starbuck replied sarcastically nodding his head. "I'll try to keep myself in one piece too if that's okay with you." Apollo let out a laugh. Even in the worst of times, Starbuck always had his sense of humor. "I'll be back in a flash." He peeled away to take care of those particular raiders and rejoin the attack forces. Worried as he was for his buddy, Apollo knew Starbuck would be all right. He had a knack for it. "A flash may take too long. How about before the next spark in my life?" A panel on his left answered that not once, not twice, but four times. Starbuck caught it and took care of it. He did one last methodical scan of the instrument panels to make sure he had shut down all the potential hazards. The radio was switched off to save electrical power. The Viper's Emergency Beacon was activated. How long it remained functioning was unknown at this point with all the ship damage. Its tight beam, encrypted signal sent in short bursts would be picked up by the Galactica soon. As for the Cylons, if they detected it, would see it only as some stray space noise. Small balls of fire lit up like fireworks in the distance, and as such disappeared a micron later as the battle between Vipers and Raiders continued. Starbuck never even noticed. He had more important things on his mind. He toggled the maneuvering thrusters into manual mode. No sparks were visible. Starbuck hoped that was a good sign. There was no audible sound to hear nor any soft rumble feeling in the cockpit. They were not like the massive turbo engines behind the cockpit which were always felt. The tiny thruster jets were strategically positioned at the nose and tail of the ship to control the fine tuning of turns. They were mostly operated by onboard computers. However, it was possible to switch them into manual mode if the need arose. The only indication of thruster operation besides a light on the instrument panel was when their short bursts moved the Viper. In the endless vacuum of space, an object in motion remained in motion, gravitational fields of stars, planets, and so on not withstanding. Starbuck's Viper obediently continued in the direction it was traveling when he was hit hard by Cylon Raider fire. With any luck, Starbuck would drift into the gravitational pull of the planet Apollo mentioned. Otherwise, he'd drift forever. That was much too long for his comfort. Not knowing which instruments were reliable like the charred attitude indicator, Starbuck figuratively crossed his fingers and hoped for the best. He slowly pitched the nose "down" about the lateral axis of the Viper and looked for the planet. Slowly but surely it came into view on his left. Carefully, Starbuck countered the nose "down" thruster motion with the opposite thruster until the motion in that direction came to a halt. He did the same to yaw the nose left and face the planet head on. According to the thruster fuel gauges, there were two-thirds of reserves available. One needle wiggled though. Starbuck guessed he had half that much. He lightly chastised himself for not checking them from time to time during the battle. Had he done that, he'd have a better estimate. But there was no time to harp on the past. Starbuck knew he did have some amount of fuel. That was a positive point. He needed some now. The rest was required for maneuvered gliding in the atmosphere to a controlled crash, for which he happened to have plenty of simulated and real experience. Starbuck gave full forward thrust for ten microns and prayed that was enough to alter the flight path towards the planet if the thrusters did not fail. With luck, that placed him in the planet's gravity well. If it was worth anything, he was ready to climb out and push. Starbuck reached under his seat and felt around for the small compartment containing the VOH - Viper Operating Handbook. It was a white, hard backed folder with clips inside to allow pages to be added, removed and changed. Every piece of the handbook was specially made to endure the environments of space including spacewalks. It was made at or before the viper was built and was undoubtedly older than Starbuck. The same was probably true for the viper. Regardless, procedure dictated he find the appropriate checklist in the emergency section. Ten to one the designers never thought of the predicament he was in. So what would be the closest emergency situation? "Loss of turbo power in launch tube. Hmm. Maybe I should try that one next time I have long range patrol. Engine fire in launch tube. Too hot for me. Loss of power immediately after launch. Gimme a break already with launch." He quickly flipped through the pages until he spotted the words, "Out of Range." "Radio failure out of battlestar range. Step 1: Activate Emergency Beacon. Step 2: Return to battlestar. That's it?!? Holy Frack. Who wrote this thing? A kid? Why not add a step 3? Waggle the wings? This is totally useless!!" Starbuck threw the manual to the floor in frustration. The planet did not appear any closer than before. He had no knowledge of the battle since the systems were out. There was not exactly much in the way of scenery to view along his space crawl. There was nothing to do until he entered the atmosphere. At that point, Starbuck would have to establish his best viper glide speed, find someplace to land and head for it. Until then, why not sleep? "One Cassiopea. Two Athena. Three Bree. Four Phrodite." The pleasantries of dreams with women overtook Starbuck's consciousness. There was one big smile on his face as he entered la la land. He did not wake up in time. ******** Athena sat behind a mammoth, gray, cold metal desk in the large, silent room. She had a very stern look on her face. Her hair was neatly pulled back into a regulation bun. She wore a very dark blue uniform dress jacket over a white blouse, and a long dress which matched the jacket. It was as plain as plain ever was. She peered through her glasses at all the cadets seated quietly in front of her, at attention, back straight, feet flat on the floor, hands palm down on their desks. She pushed her glasses up further on her nose, not that they were able to go any further, and prepared her next statement. "Now class..." Athena said in a very slow, monotone, nasal tone. It echoed off the barren metal walls. They were the same color as the desk and retained no heat, just like the teacher's heart. To touch one made chills run down the spine. "Today's lesson is on viper crashes. At this stage, if you do not know what a viper crash is, you should not be here." Her look was very defiant. "You are going to learn how to crash a viper properly and walk away." At the rate she was speaking, the whole class would fall asleep within a centon. Not a one could afford the stiff penalties of that action though. There were only rumours about what the penalties were. All that was known for certain was the guilty cadet was taken to a back room and never seen or heard from again. Some said victims were slashed into daggit feed. Others were flushed out the airlock to let the cold of space wake them up. A few skied out the viper tubes behind the viper. It was rumoured some unfortunate ones were roasted on top of the Galactica's engines. And those were the better punishments. Like it or not, they had to stay awake if they valued their life. A few were in desperate need of something to hold their eyelids open. Their strongest will power was unable to do it. "My superiors scheduled a guest to be here." The droning of Athena's voice was totally unbearable. She did not even indicate the slightest interest in having a guest. If it were up to her, she would be the boss, especially if anyone else was needed to teach. In her case, no one else was ever needed. "They want him here because he is deemed an expert at viper crashes. Does anyone want to guess who our guest is?" No one responded. "Anyone?" Still nothing. "Anyone?" No one peeped. Or cheeped. Or even bleeped. She waited no more. "Our guest today is Lieutenant Starbuck from the Battlestar Galactica." Her face did not change. No smile. No twitch. No nothing. "Tomorrow, you will be tested on what you learned today. All of you are expected to remember everything and have perfect grades. One mistake, you will fail." The students wanted to moan and groan. Nobody was perfect. This teacher was expecting the unreal, the unimaginable, at least for her tests. She made the questions so abstract and difficult, it was hard to tell exactly what she wanted. To make matters worse, Athena showed no mercy on even the slightest mistake. Suddenly, lights started flashing. The floor separated down the middle from the front of the room to the back for a catwalk to rise up to meet the room door in the back. Music blared through the public address system. A curtain dropped down from the ceiling to cover over the entire back wall. Soft, spongy-type, multi-colored balls shot out from the walls across the room. Shiny streamers dropped out of the ceiling to wave in front of the air ducts. They reflected light on the walls and ceiling in a sparkling, flashing sort of way. The students stood up out of their seats and boogied in beat with the music. They yelled, screamed and cheered for the guest to make his entrance. Some of the boys were bold enough to get close to the girls and swing with them making their dreams a reality. It was a hip hop party time. The music silenced. The lights dimmed. A hush fell over the rambunctious students. A bright spotlight illuminated the curtain at the back wall over where the door was behind the curtain. Everyone waited in anticipation for the guest to enter. To build up the energy levels higher than what they already were, a new song started. It had an almost inaudible beat to it with a gradual crescendo up to the song's main introduction. The students involuntarily bounced up and down during the introduction as if mesmerized by it. The curtain parted enough for Starbuck to walk through with a huge smile shining from behind the fumerello he puffed. The students went into an uproar. Starbuck waved to them all and blew out kisses. His first step on the catwalk was met with the words to the song, "I'm Too Sexy." "Starbuck's too sexy for the crowd. Too sexy for the crowd. Too sexy in the clouds." Starbuck strutted his stuff captivatingly along the stage. The eager female students were dying to reach up and touch him no matter how much they just barely missed. To have their fingers come within millimetrons of him was absolutely breathtaking. The full uniform hid the slender frame of a certain tall brunette. She was determined to grab a hold of the handsome man. She slid out underneath her fellow students and retreated to the side wall. The girl pushed off the wall with her powerful legs and ran full steam towards the barrier of students shielding the catwalk. A metron from them, she bounded over their heads. The jump was misjudged. She propelled over the catwalk and toppled a half dozen students on the other side. Starbuck gracefully danced on his toes to put on a show as if nothing happened and kept away from the persistent grabs. However, he did see some lovely girls he wanted to "get to know." "Starbuck's too sexy for this ship. Too sexy for this ship. Too sexy. He's so hip." One spotlight remained on Starbuck. All the others turned onto Athena, still behind the desk in the same pose she was in when it all started, totally unaffected by any of clamor. She looked up almost startled. The music settled in. She started to rock her body to the beat. It was unavoidable. There was no way to resist the strong vibrations. Athena stood and forcibly thrust her chair back. She reached up with her right hand to snare the glasses from her face and throw them across the room. Her left hand pulled her hair out of a bun and let it flow down over her shoulders and upper back. In one music beat she jumped up on the desk and danced. The students began a loud cheer at their transformed teacher. One centon, she was the teacher of anyone's worst nightmare. The next centon she was as captivating as the guest. "Starbuck's too sexy for the girls. Too sexy for the girls. My oh my he can whirl." Too sexy huh? Athena did not think so. She ripped off her jacket, dress and blouse to reveal her curves in a one piece, sleeveless, legless, body hugging scrap of clothing, what little there was to it. All the boys in the class dashed forward to be as close as possible to Athena. They were hot for teacher. Whistles were heard left and right. Two boys stared and drooled. A few others scrambled for the teacher's discarded clothing. If even only a small piece were to be had to smell, to feel, to cherish, it placed the boy in Heaven. The girls continued to stare at Starbuck and think of ways to nab him. Those in the front row reached toward him as close as they were able. The others tried to push their way through, even climb over fellow students. The ones in the middle were squashed as thin as a flatcake. They felt no pain though, only a craving desire to have a real man in their lives. "He's a model, you know what I mean Oh he does his little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk. On the catwalk yeah He struts his mighty stuff on the catwalk." Starbuck freed his hand of his fumerllo but kept it in his mouth and clapped in beat to the music. He reached up above his head, put his hands together in a body building muscle show-off and wiggled his hips back and forth for the girls. The cheers were deafening. Athena strutted up to him sensually shaking her hips, displaying her beautiful long legs and blowing kisses out in every direction. "She's too sexy for his bod. Too sexy for his bod. Unless he is a god." Athena approached the guest in a defiant way. He was not going to steal the show. She had quite a few assets her\self. They were stretched to their full potential for her. This teacher was a princess in disguise. The fumerello almost fell out when Starbuck's mouth dropped to the floor. He hurriedly caught and composed himself, admiring what he saw. Blood pulsed hot through his veins. Starbuck felt a rush of adrenaline. The collar of his shirt suddenly felt hot. He puffed away faster on his fumerello. More smoke drifted up above his head to the ceiling. "She's too sexy for the lot. Too sexy for his trot. Too sexy too hot." The students quieted some. They were eager to see what was going to take place. Was the guest a prize for the teacher to win? Perhaps an award for the most boring, dreadful excuse to pass for an educator. That was until she revealed her inner brilliance. Why should the guest have all the fun? That was not fair. Certainly the boys deserved a kiss on the cheek, or even a pat on the head from the gorgeous damsel for being top notch students. The girls, on the other hand, refused to give up so easily. They were a determined bunch. One of them would stake their claim to the handsome guest before them. It would be a ferocious battle, but well earned prize for the victor. When Athena was in arms reach of Starbuck, the students calmed down little more. The loud music, the colorful, flashing lights, the confetti downpour intensified. The show was about to start. "Athena's so sexy all around Too sexy to be wound Too sexy for what she found." Staring him eye to eye, Athena yanked the fumerello out of Starbuck's mouth and placed it between her lips with ferocity. She could puff rings just as well as he. So she did. They rose and hovered above his head like a halo for only a few microns before continuing to ascend and expand. Starbuck reached out to retrieve his stolen property, only to be slapped away by the lovely lady. Two can play at that game he thought. What did he need her for? With all the girls in the room aching to have Starbuck, he planned to make one of their fairy tale dreams come true. "He's a model, you know what I mean Oh he does a little swing on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk. On the catwalk yeah He shakes his little touche on the catwalk." Ignoring Athena, the most wanted man glanced around. The cheers doubled from both sexes. The girls wanted Starbuck very badly. The boys died for Athena. She showed no interest in them though, but they still fantasized about the possibility. Her eyes were set on her goal. One of the redhead cadets caught Starbuck's attention. He saw her eyes shine like a supernova and gently reached out for her hand. The other girls did not care. They all reached up and grabbed hold of his arm. If he had not yanked back fast enough, Starbuck would have been pulled down into the students. Athena reached over and passionately seized his arm. Starbuck tried in vain to shake her off. It was futile. Her grip was stronger than a angry derthker on a ravage hunt for prey. The sparkle in her eyes, the charm of her smile, the warmth of her heart wooed Starbuck into trusting her if only for the centon. As soon as he gave up his struggle to free himself, Athena wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug and planted her lips on his for a long, deep kiss. Starbuck was startled for a micron. He wrapped her up and delivered everything he had to return the kiss in a way she would never forget. The tenderness from him had Athena melting in her heels. As she slowly dropped closer and closer to the floor, Starbuck refused to let her go. He went down onto his knees when she was close to sitting and continued to go lower until she was on her back. Gently, he pulled his lips away from hers. With her eyes still closed, Athena kept her arms around his shoulders unable to release him. The students went crazy. The ones in the front row quickly jumped up onto the catwalk. The girls went after Starbuck to pull hum away. The boys went to try and kiss Athena while she was in a very defenseless position. Others followed closely behind until the catwalk was flooded with bodies. Starbuck and Athena were drowned in a sea of students, everyone smiling and filled with joy at the very least. ******** "Starbuck?" The voice was a gentle whisper. The touch of a soft hand was on his. "Starbuck? I know you can hear me. Open your eyes. I'm here for you." Sure enough, Starbuck's subconscious heard, but that was all. "I'm not letting you go. You better show me something or... or... or you better find another socialator's life to screw up." The whisper disappeared, only to be replaced by a stronger voice. "I'm certainly not whistling Dancing Cylons. Come on, boy. Snap to it." Cassiopea hoped the mention of her former occupation would generate a response. She did not expect a mischievous grin. An eyelash flutter would be fine. How about a wink? Or a cough? "Hey, hotshot, how about you show me your moves?" Cassiopea asked in a sultry voice. "Maybe show me how you squeeze into that tiny Triad uniform. How about a personal message in a hot and steamy turbowash?" Still no response. What did she have to do to wake up the Warrior she was so dearly in love with? In the distance, someone was having a fit. Cassiopea was too focused on Starbuck to really pay any attention to it. "At the rate he's crashing vipers, we won't have any left. He's going to pay for this. I'll chain him to the star hot, ore melting ovens on the metals ship until he builds his own viper with parts we don't have. He'll spend his lifetime in Hades and pay for this." Commander Adama heard enough. He turned to the scrawny figure, two heads shorter than him. The look in Adama's eyes was as fierce as a lightning bolt's fury. "You will do no such thing," he said with unquestionable resonance. "What you will do is repair that viper. I saw it was not totally destroyed..." "Might as well be. I've seen garbage heaps in better form that that. The toxic gases leaked through the viper skin and made pin holes. There are enough for thousands of colonies of insectoid life. It would be better to melt the thing. Adama's eyes were on fire. He was in no mood to deal with such petty innuendoes. "If you interrupt me again, I will personally oversee the viper reconstruction. And I will not leave until it is finished. Do I make myself clear?" The little figure shrank back into a corner biting on his fingertips and nervously nodded. "Good. I see we understand each other. Dismissed." Adama resumed his walk without a second glance back at the little foreman. "I'm sending you the bill for this, for all the equipment we lost out of the shuttle into the corrosive liquid oceans, the life threatening times of every single search person, the excess wear on the shuttle from the acidic atmosphere, the drain on the engine's and their housing trying to pull my people, MY PEOPLE, out of there with suddenly unstable tylium reserves." Adama waved it off. He quietly entered the special room set up for Starbuck's condition. If this were normal circumstances, he would be placed in the main Life Center area. However, his situation was much more grave. Time was not something Cassiopea was willing to give. She refused to leave his bedside even when she could no longer escape her body's natural call for sleep. Her head rested beside him. Instead of moving Cassiopea from the chair, other medical workers draped a blanket over her shoulders and placed small pillows around her. She was thankful to them when she woke. Now though, when she saw Adama walk into the room, her face lit up a little bit. She did not feel alone. Simply to know Stabuck's condition affected everyone in such a deep way eased her conscious a little. Adama placed his hands on Cassiopea's shoulders and lightly kissed the top of her head. He remained standing behind her. "How is he?" "Recovering well albeit slower than expected." She reached up to lift his right hand off her shoulder and hold it. "Why does he do this?" "To frazzle our nerves," Adama replied with a chuckle. "He certainly stands apart from the other pilots including my own offspring." "I certainly let him know how much we appreciate his gallantry." Cassiopea felt the strength Adama gave her just by being there An idea flashed through her mind. She stood and faced the Commander with some semblance of excitement. "Can you order him to, ah, I'm not sure how to say this. Order him to attention... for a bed inspection perhaps? Or something?" "I don't see why I shouldn't if you think it will help." "I think it will. Please try." Adama moved to Cassiopea 's side. He cleared his throat and felt his usual command demeanor. "Lieutenant, you will stand at attention in my presence for quarters inspection. I expect nothing less. And for this little act of staging a viper accident, you shall spend the next ten centars thoroughly cleaning the vipers making them smell as sweet as the early Caprica season of bloom." No response. "Lieutenant, I am speaking to you! Respond!" There was a slight quiver in Starbuck's arm. Cassiopea noticed. She grabbed Adama's upper arm in anticipation. "If you don't say something in the next five microns, I will put you out on long range patrol for so long you won't be back until we find Earth." A light guttural sound came from Starbuck. His body remained motionless though. Cassiopea let go of the Commander to scan the various readouts. There was a positive sign of improvement in brain activity. "Speak up, boy. I can't hear you!" Starbuck's lips parted. "A...." "What was that?!?" Starbuck did not respond. His breathing shallowed. His heart beat as slowly as it had been since he was brought there. "Lieutenant, stand at attention. No slouching. I want to see you look like a Warrior! You are a representative of the Colonial Service. You better be at your best. No up!" He grunted slightly. A groan or two were barely heard. Still no body movement, but more brain activity. Body temperature rose a tiny bit. All hope was not lost. "Aye," he hoarsely replied with intense signs of vocal struggle. There was no smile, no eye movement, nothing outside of his breathing. Starbuck's body still had a long road to recovery ahead. Now there was proof he had taken a step in the right direction. "I think you did it." Cassiopea bounced on the balls of her toes. "I think your voice triggered his trained responses. I think..." She paused trying to catch her breath. "I think." "What do you think?" Adama quietly asked. Cassiopea response was a big, long lasting hug. Emotions overflowed her. What was there to think? She was overjoyed to finally see something from Starbuck outside of breathing and a heart beat. ******** The door chime rang. Adama set down the papers he tried to decipher. It was bad enough to suffer through some unintelligible officer reports Tigh brought him at times. But this was utterly preposterous. "Enter." The door swooshed open and admitted a man a little slow on his feet, but head held high. He was dressed in black, loose fitting pants and a V-neck, light blue, short sleeve shirt. A gold chain hung around his neck with a heart the size of his thumbnail. The young man stood partially at attention in front of Adama's desk. "At ease, Starbuck. Please sit down." "Thank you, sir." He flopped into the chair beside him. "Are you crashing into chairs now, Lieutenant?" Adama asked in a commanding tone. Starbuck sat up straight afraid of what was about to happen. "Oh no, sir. My legs gave out sooner than I wanted them too." Adama sat back, placed one hand on the arm of his chair, the other under his chin. He studied his visitor with great interest. The silence conveyed as much meaning as his spoken words. "Sir, really," Starbuck replied nervously. "Cassiopea insisted I use a cane. I refused. If I can't walk on my own, there's no use in walking." Adama continued his penetrating stare. "I promise I'll refluff the cushions." The Commander finally lightened up. "No need, son. Please relax. I have a trivial matter to discuss with you." "Go ahead and shoot, Commander. Just don't shoot me." "It's good to see your quick wit has not abandon you. Colonel Tigh delivered this to me a short while ago." Adama pushed the stack of paper he was examining in the Lieutenant's direction. "It appears you are costing us more than we can afford." "Sir?" Starbuck did not look down at the papers. He was too busy trying to figure out what Adama meant. He did not loot all the cubits from the Rising Star. The other warrior's only played Pyramid against him when they thought they had a chance to win. What did he do wrong this time? "This is a list of expenses from various areas. From this last little stunt you pulled, everyone involved is demanding retribution. They want more than we have. As I see it, you have enough earnings to pay for this." Adama laid out a sly smile when he saw Starbuck's mouth drop to the floor. Starbuck stuttered, "Excuse me, sir. But, ah, since when did the um, service, hafta pay?" Adama appeared astonished Starbuck had not heard sooner. Certainly he was at the major warrior briefing Tigh gave after the Council voted on the matter. "Since the Council thinks the economy of the fleet is in bad shape. Everyone wants their cubits. Please, look over this tonight. In fact, sleep on it, use it as a blanket if you like. I expect you to report back to me first thing after you wake." Starbuck eyed the Commander suspiciously. He glanced down at the paper stack and back to the Commander. "Go ahead. It's only paper. I assure you it won't bite." With a slowness any baby could beat, Starbuck picked up the paper stack and sat it in his lap. There must have been two dozen pages. He briefly scanned over the first page and checked the next. His face turned white as he looked at only a line or two on other pages. "Sir, with all due respect, this has to be a joke." Adama shook his head. "No joke. They want paid." "9,000 cubits for the search and rescue operation? 1,200 extra for ideas they thought up along the way to affect my rescue? 500 cubits a secton for a private bed in Life Center? 25 cubits for changing sheets? 10 for every tissue they used on me? 17 cubits to brush my teeth? 20 cubits for bed clothes? Sir, we don't wear a single piece of clothing under those silver blankets. 50 cubits for cleaning the bed pan?!?! 42 cubits for pushing my medical bed into a separate room? 5 cubits per light adjustment? They did 72 light adjustments. Was I reading in my sleep? 90 cubits for each meal?! 115 for washing me? I wasn't even awake to enjoy the company of the pretty aide who did that. And this, this one really is felgercarb. 299 cubits for tucking me in. Sir!!! I must protest this outrage!" That was only part of what was on the first page. The second page began listing each and every thing the repair team did to fix his viper. Starbuck looked up at Adama in shock. A few pages behind that was overtime payment for the list of warriors who covered Starbuck's patrols. There was even a page with charges for each and every question a visitor asked about his recovery including the question and response beside the charge. "You must be kidding. I don't think there is this much currency in the whole fleet!" Adama held up his hands. "You have your problems, lieutenant. I have mine. I'm sure you'll find a way to work it out." "Aw, thanks, sir. May I go?" "Dismissed. And Starbuck?" "Yes, sir?" "Have a nice stroll back to bunks." "Yes, sir." Starbuck carefully stood with papers in hand and walked towards the door. His mind was totally wrapped up on how in the stars he would pay this. It was unreal. It had to be a curse. There was no other explanation. Starbuck pushed the button to open the door. "SURPRISE!!!!!!" Cassiopea, Athena, Boomer, Apollo with Boxey in his arms and Muffit at his side, Greenbean, Jolly, Giles, Bree, Diedra, and many other warriors crammed in the corridor all cheering and applauding Starbuck. Bree shuffled her way past Athena and Apollo to stand in front of Starbuck. "We're glad to see you back. And we hope, while you are recovering, you'll be able to spend plenty of time with us young, female viper pilots in the simulators." Starbuck looked over at Adama and saw him just as happy as the rest of the folk. "I don't believe you did this, but it's good to be back." "And I'm too sexy for this story!" He laid the cards down to show full Pyramid and exhaled fumerello smoke in a ring to hover above the other Warriors who just lost more cubits. Why would they expect any different? - THE END -