Family Matters
                       A Battlestar Galactica Story
                           by Marion Duerselen
December, 1999


Chameleon sat back in the big, old, but comfortable chair and sighed.
He looked around himself and took a good look at his surroundings - so
this was his current home, the place he more than exaggeratedly called
his "luxary quarters". It was an old storage room deep down in the
belly of the Rising Star - not used anymore and loaded with piles of
junk, that nobody would ever use again. Broken machinery parts, worn
out furniture - why the fleet even bothered to keep all that, he would
never understand. They probably forgot all about it. So far that suited
him just fine.
All his life he had been a gambler, a con-man and although he sure had
seen better days, he just couldn't break old habits. Throughout the
fleet there were quite a couple of people looking for him - first of
all the owner of the chancery on this ship, he owed quite an amount of
gambling debts to. Nobody would ever assume he was stupid enough to
ever set  foot onto the Rising Star again, not to mention live here.
They would never look for him down here. It was a perfect hideout. Not
much, but all his.   

There was just one person, who knew he was here. Just one person, who
cared enough for him to come and visit and never tell. Starbuck. His
son Starbuck.
The young lieutenant had just left, after he had spent a couple of
hours with Chameleon in this so called "luxary quarter". Whenever he
had a chance to, Starbuck would drop by to talk to his fatherly friend
and play a couple of hands of pyramid with him. The young man seemed to
feel on ease around the older man, seemed to feel that he was a related
soul. Yet he had no idea, that Chameleon was more than just a related
soul - he was his father. 

Again the older man sighed. He would never forget the day he had found
out, that this wonderful young man was the son he had thought dead for
more than thirty yahrens. Since that day there had been more than one
occasion, he had felt the urge to tell him. But so far he had kept it a
secret. Starbuck would give up his friends, his job, everything that
meant anything to him, to be with this old fool. To hang out with him
in loud and smoky chanceries, wasting his time, his life, trying to
bring back long lost yahrens. He couldn't allow that to happen. 

Chameleon had never been much of a father, even in Starbuck's earliest
yahrens. He could probably count the days he had actually spent in
Umbra to be with his wife and baby son. He still remembered the last
time he had seen his little boy - a cute, happy baby of about one with
golden hair, big blue eyes and the widest smile he had ever seen. He
should have been proud. And his wife - a beautiful, intelligent and
caring woman, who had born with him, although every chancery on the
planet seemed to mean more to him than his family. He should have been
happy. 

When that cylon attack, that had wiped out Umbra, took his family from
him, Chameleon had not been with them. Again he had rather spent time
gambling, creating new "systems" that would unmistakably make him rich
and famous. None of these systems had ever worked and he had never
become either rich or famous. On the contrary - he had lost it all. 

When he came back to Umbra, to the place that he had called home
although he had hardly ever spent any time there, they had been gone.
He had been looking for them, but there was no trace, not a spark of
hope, that they survived the attack. Chameleon still remembered all the
long and lonesome nights after that, that he had spent crying over the
loss of his family. A family that didn't know him, that he was too busy
to be with. But in the back of his mind they had always been with him.
Deep in his heart he had always loved them and then all of a sudden
they'd been gone.
There were no last words, no good-byes, no final kiss and hug - they
had just vanished. And only then did he realize, what he had had. Too
late. 

He had often wondered in the yahrens after, what kind of man his son
would have grown into. He had watched the boys on the street that were
about Starbuck's age and he had never stopped wondering, if his son
would have been one of them - playing triad, striving to be accepted at
the colonial academy in Caprica City and striving even harder to win
the ladies' hearts. Looking back Chameleon was almost certain that the
best thing, that could ever happen to Starbuck, was the absence of his
father. 
What kind of role-model would he have been for his child? He had
watched Starbuck closely and it was spooky enough to see how much he
had still taken after him - certain habits seemed to be running in the
family. But contrary to himself, Starbuck had been able to do something
meaningful with his life. Against all odds, he had become a colonial
warrior, a fine pilot and a good-natured young man under who's playboy
exterior beat a golden heart.
 
Looking back, Starbuck's fate had turned out for the better and had
Chameleon's conscience find some rest. Still he wondered. There still
were those long and lonesome nights, that he saw the face of his
beautiful young wife before his inner eye and wondered what ever became
of her. 

Yahrens after that fateful cylon attack on Umbra he had finally found a
trace. She hadn't died that day. She survived due to a lucky twist of
fate; an emergency call that had rushed her to her sister's house
outside of Umbra, leaving her baby boy to the care of some friendly
neighbours.
She had returned to piles of smoking debris. Her house had been gone,
the entire town had been gone and along with it her little son. A
handful of surviviors had told her about surviving children, most of
them orphaned or assumed orphaned, that had been rushed to Caprica City
to be taken care of in the local orphanages.
She had been to all of them, never stopped searching for her little
boy. It must have taken her months
before she had realized that she would never see him again. If she ever
accepted his fate, he would never know. In her heart she probably never
stopped searching for him. It was her husband on the other hand she
never even looked for. He had deserted her, her and his little son, and
it was back then that she stopped caring altogether. He couldn't blame
her.

When he found out about her, she had already filed for divorce. And it
was in those tough and painful times back then that she had found
someone new. A man, who had loved her with all his heart and who was
giving her the attention, affection and support she needed and
deserved. 
Chameleon never even bothered to find out that man's name or go to see
her and her new family. Deep inside he never stopped loving her, but
the life of a family man was just not for him. Being the wife of a
restless gambler on the other hand was not for her. It was for the best
that they seperated, went different directions - unfortunately leaving
their little son in between to a life in solitute, without parents. If
they had only known. 

He had never seen her again, but he remembered, that he had felt happy
for her, when he found out about her new life. A life in peace and
happiness, with a man who was good for her and with whom she had the
joy of bringing up three more children. Children she undoubtably loved
as much as she had loved little Starbuck. And although she probably
never forgot her firstborn or ever got over his loss completely, they
may have helped her to find happiness and a peaceful sleep again as
well.

Chameleon wiped away a single tear that had run down his cheek. There
were memories he wanted to keep more than anything and at the same
moment they were the memories that hurt the most. 
Starbuck - there were moments he still could not believe, that he had
returned to his life. Sometimes he found himself just staring into
those familiar blue eyes and still couldn't believe, that this was the
little baby boy he had thought lost over thirty yahrens ago. It was in
these moments that he wondered, if they could be a family again, if she
was only here. If only he could see her one more time to tell her all
he felt, how sorry he was for the lost yahrens, the lost chances, the
lost happy moments.
Although he had never seen her again, he would never stop wondering
what became of her. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen and would
never stop loving. Ila.


                                 * * * * * * * 

The End