From: Erin Gieg Date: Mon, 09 Aug 1999 Well, I'm a little early...just pretend I'm on the East coast! Onward! DISCLAIMER: The Characters of Battlestar Galactica belong to Glen A. Larson. No copyright infringement is intended. Muffy In Boots Once upon a battlestar, a Colonial warrior disappeared while on patrol, leaving behind a boy and his mechanical daggit, Muffit. The boy was unhappy, as Muffit was useless for anything, and could not help him to make a living. The boy's name was Boxey, and he was surprised one cycle when Muffy, as he was affectionately called, began to speak, leaving behind the inane yips and yaps of yahrens gone by. The daggit was much more clever than he looked, so one day, he requested something odd of his master. "Master Boxey, please, if you could provide me with a pair of boots and a cape, I shall become !SuperMuffit!" Well, ok, so that wasn't exactly what he said, but he did ask for boots and a cape. Boxey, being the trusting sort, did exactly as Muffy asked. Right away, Muffy headed off for Starbuck's quarters, and pilfered a bunch of mushies from his private stash. Then he made his way down the corridor, heading for Siress Belloby's quarters. When he was let in to see the woman, he gave her the small stack of mushies. "These are a gift from my young master Troy (And therein is the secret of how the name change took place - dear old Muffit did it - for no reason at all!)." "Please tell Troy that I am extremely grateful," Belloby said. "This is a very thoughtful gift!" Over quite a few cycles, Muffy took various gifts to the Siress, always citing the generosity of his master, Troy. One cycle, Muffy learned that the Siress was going on a trip with her daughter, and having learned the route that her entourage would take through the ship, he arranged for his young master to be half sticking out of a garbage chute along the way. Again, Boxey being the trusting sort, did as his daggit asked. As soon as the entourage approached, Muffy began to wail. "Oh help! My master Troy is going to be ejected into space!" Dear old Siress Belloby recognized the daggit from his many visits with gifts, and ordered an accompanying warrior to rescue the boy. After Boxey...er...Troy was pulled from the grip of the chute, Belloby invited the lad to continue on with her group. He agreed, of course, but was extremely uncomfortable with the fluttering eyelashes and goofy looks that the daughter was sending his way. While the group was sightseeing, Muffy ran ahead and came across a group of warriors in one of the bays, painting a new viper in bold colors. He explained to them that Siress Belloby was going to come by, and that they should say when asked that the viper belonged to Troy. Again, being a lot of brainless fools, the warriors agreed. (I know, highly unlikely, but it moves the story along ) When the Siress came and asked the group to whom the viper belonged to, they told her that it was Troy's, and Belloby began to think to herself that perhaps this Troy would be a good match for her daughter. Again, Muffy ran ahead, and came upon a grand suite, which belonged to a rich count named Baltar. Now, Baltar was also a shapechanger, which of course, is not common knowledge. Muffy pounded on the button and demanded to be let in. When Baltar finally let the daggit in, Muffy bowed his head. "Oh wonderful count," he gushed. "I have heard so much about you! It is said that you can shapechange whenever you care to, and I had to come to see for myself your greatness!" Having appealed to Baltar's vanity (which is all too easy to do), the count obliged by shapechanging into a faerie. Oops, sorry, that's another story...he changed into a grand leonis, and roared so loud that Muffy lost some of his fur. Then the count changed back into himself again. "Oh great master of shapechanging! Oh wondrous count!" Muffy gushed again. (Feel free to gag at this point.) Baltar bowed his head in mock humility. "I have heard that you are also able to change into these great forms, but I doubt you could manage to become such a small, trivial thing as a mushie." "Oh Ho!" Baltar said, taking leave of his senses for the moment. "Of course I can! You just watch!" And he promptly changed into a mushie. As quickly as that happened, Muffy shuffled forward and masticated the mushie into oblivion. Just then, the Siress and her entourage approached the suite, and Muffy went outside and welcomed the group to Troy's suite. Now Belloby was certain that this was the perfect match for her daughter, and so she gave Troy a few cycles to prepare for the wedding. Poor Troy was in such a state that as soon as they left, he bestowed ownership of the suite on Muffy and promptly ran away to begin training to be a viper pilot. He only said one thing before he left. "Thank goodness, Muffy! I just couldn't see myself calling her mother!" THE END