OMEGA TRANSCRIPT
Written By:  Wayne Killion 
November 11, 1998

This is the next installment in the Therapseuchos series.  Remember
that these are all taken from real life sessions.  Let me know  how
you like it.

>From the archives of Therapseuchos Killiow

Subject:  Omega

Omega:  Sir, I'm here for my appointment.

Killiow:  You must be flight Seargent Omega.

Omega:  Yes sir that's me.

Killiow:  Come on in and have a seat.  Please make yourself comfortable.
Would you like a glass of water?

Omega:  Yes sir, I would appreciate that.

Killiow:  Let's dispense with the formalities you may call me Killiow.

Omega:  Thank you sir, I mean Killiow.

Killiow:  So Omega what brings you into the center today.

Omega:  I needed to talk to someone I could trust.

Killiow:  Well you came to the right place.  What would you like to talk
about?

Omega:  Well I really want to tell you but you have to promise me that
whatever I tell you stays here.

Killiow:  Omega, I can't promise you that.  All I can say is that if
what you have to tell me in no way endangers this fleet or yourself it
will have no reason to go anywhere else.  The only time it can be
brought out of this office is by the Commanders or Colonels authority.
Even the council cannot request these records.  If you still want to
talk to me I am willing to listen but I cannot lie to you and tell you
no one will ever know.

Omega:  I appreciate your candor.  I do not know if I can tell you
everything since I am part of the command staff and would not want
everyone on the bridge knowing my personal life.  But I would still like
to talk.

Killiow:  I understand.  You may tell me whatever you wish.

Omega:  Thanks.  I guess this is going to be a little harder than I
thought.  

(Omega takes a sip of water and sits down in the chair.  I noticed that
he has severe redness in his eyes from either crying or sleep
deprivation.)

Killiow:  Omega, have you been getting enough sleep?

Omega:  I suppose not.  I have been feeling really sluggish lately, I
guess I have had way too much on my mind.

Killiow:  What kind of things?

Omega:  Oh the usual.  I have to worry about keeping the star charts up
to date as well as fleet formation, fuel consumption ratios and so many
other things that it seems to come crashing down on me at times.

Killiow:  I bet working on the bridge can be quite stressful at times.

Omega:  It has its moments but it is also a very rewarding job.

Killiow:  How so?

Omega:  You get to be at the center of all the action.  You know about
all the latest finds from our patrols far ahead of the remainder of the
fleet.

Killiow:  That does sound exciting.  

Omega:  It also has its downside.  We see battles from a myriad of
perspectives.  We see those people that we care so much about go up in
flames.  We hear about all the discord on our civilian ships.  It can be
a real mind screw.

Killiow:  I imagine it can.  How have you managed to deal with it so
well?

Omega:  I have enough of my own problems without worrying about everyone
else's dilemmas.

Killiow:  What kind of problems?

Omega:  I am having a lot of problems in my personal life.

Killiow:  Such as?

Omega:  Well I have recently got to know someone that I would like to
spend more time with but I don't know how to approach them.

Killiow:  Why not approach them with honesty, it always seems to work
better than anything else?

Omega:  I can't.

Killiow:  Why is that?

Omega:  I am not so sure this person would appreciate me asking them.

Killiow:  Most people find it very flattering when a person is
interested in them.

Omega:  It's a problem for me so I know that it will be for them.

Killiow:  Why is that?

Omega:  It's a guy.

Killiow:  Ah... I see.  Why is it a problem for you?

Omega:  All of my life I have struggled with these feelings.  I have
been told by some that it was morally wrong.  Others that I was going to
burn in the abyss, others just hated me because I was different.  I
retreated deep into myself and built up walls so no one could ever get
close to me.  I was tired of all the pain that the people caused me.
(Omega begins to tear up.)

Killiow:  Its okay, take your time.  Continue when your ready.

Omega:  Thank you.  I might as well get it all out in the open now.  I
used to lay in bed at night and wonder why I have these feelings?  Why
can't I be like everyone else?  I hated myself.  I prayed that God would
strike me down.  I wanted to die so desperately so that I could escape
all the pain that I was going through.  You see I really never managed
to close all those people out, I only convinced myself that I did.

Killiow:  It is good that you can admit that to yourself. 

Omega:  I finally reached the point where I thought that's it.  I'm
going to kill myself.  I waited one night till I was all alone and
overdosed on stimulants.  My heart sped up and I started getting sick
all over.  I purged most of the drugs out of my system.  I tried a few
more times after that but always got sick.

Killiow:  How are you now?

Omega:  It took me several yahrens to realize that I can't change who I
am.  I finally just accepted it.

Killiow:  That's good.  How did you learn to accept it?

Omega:  I met someone from the Otori temple that approached me about
himself.  He told me that he was also attracted to the same sex.  He was
the son of the temple master.  He explained a lot of his own life and
recommended resources that I could look into it for myself.  I spent
hundreds of cubits researching.  I finally came to the conclusion that I
was Okay.  However that did not stop other people's opinions of me.  I
made peace with God and myself.  I still find myself hidden away from a
lot of people but that's okay.  I am at peace for the first time in 30
yahrens.

Killiow:  That must be a major burden off your shoulders.

Omega:  It was.  I finally felt at peace.  You don't know how wonderful
that feels.

Killiow:  I can imagine.  Omega let me be frank with you.  I believe
that God has placed us all in this universe for a purpose.  Some divine
purpose was meant for your life.  Our creator does not make mistakes.
No one can choose how you will live your life except for you.  I am not
your judge or jury, but your friend.  Live your life to its fullest.  Do
not worry about what others will think of you.  Be known for your
goodness and for the joy you can bring to others.  Never allow other
peoples convictions or prejudices to dictate your life.  You are a
wonderful and unique individual that has the capacity to love.  This is
a gift from God.  Be the best person that you can be and all else will
come together in the end.

Omega:  I'm trying to do just that.

Killiow:  Good now in saying all this be honest with the person you are
attracted to.  Our people have come a long way in overcoming all these
petty differences.  If he is receptive fine, if not, then move on with
your life.  

Omega:  You really think that's the way to go?

Killiow: The decision is ultimately your own.  Honesty is always the
best policy.  Never be afraid to be who you really are.  

Omega:  Thanks.  I'll speak to him.  I have bridge duty in a few centons
so I need to go.  Thanks for speaking with me.

Killiow:  It is my pleasure.  Feel free to come back anytime you wish.

Omega:  I will, bye.

Killiow:  Have a nice day and remember, be at peace.

End of transcript

Summary:  Omega is a very courageous young man.  It is not easy to come
to terms with one's self.  I believe that he is a survivor.  He has
managed to find himself in a world where the majority of people
discriminate against him because he is different.  I pray that he will
continue to strive for the best in his life.  Peace...what a wonderful
thing.


Wayne Killion
DPWL WAN Admin/IMO/
Information Systems Security Manager
BLDG #308  Fort Myer  101 Fenton Circle
Arlington VA 22211-1199
E-Mail    killionw@fmmc.army.mil