October 9, 2000
Robert wrote a beautiful beginning to a NEW story:
 
     Now here they were, almost in the same situation all over again,
only this time, it was not the globes of light that bothered, even
angered the Count.  No, it was his evident adverse reaction to the
presence of the man that Starbuck called Brannigan, and the little pink
bunny walking around the area beating a drum.  Iblis tried to stomp the
little critter.  Unfortunate for him, the bunny kept going, and going,
and going...  
 
And I'm adding:
 
     Of course, never mind that we don't know where 'here' is.  All
will be revealed in good time.  As will the identities of the
characters.  Never mind that one character has the same name as someone
in one of Rae's stories- he's a completely different character in this
story.  Onward...
     Iblis and Brannigan were confused as to why the little pink bunny
kept going and going and going.  Iblis, as has already been mentioned,
was rather incensed at the boom-boom-boom of the drum, the pair of tres
chic sunglasses perched jauntily on the bunny's nose, and the whole
pink fuzziness of it all. Brannigan, however, was pleasantly amused. 
He liked that the bunny reminded him faintly of his bedroom slippers.  
     Chuckling, Brannigan said brightly, "Well, I guess we should find
out what the bunny is so excited about before you actually manage to
stomp him."  
     'Stomp, stomp' went Iblis' feet as he tromped heavily through the
bushes after his quarry. 'Stomp, stomp, stomp!'  
     "Oh, would you stop, already!" Brannigan chided.  Iblis was
beginning to get on Brannigan's nerve.  (Yes, he only has one.) 
"You're getting leaves and twigs all stuck in your cape- you look like
a reject from Riverdance, you twit!"  
     "Twit, am I?" Iblis demanded angrily.  "Just you wait until you
see what this long-eared, fuzzy, pink, instrument of a soul-sucking
corporation has done.  Then we'll see who's the twit!"  
     Brannigan quickly stepped between Iblis and the rabbit.  
     "Iblis, you will not harm the mortal body nor the immortal soul of
this rabbit unless you can show due cause."  
     Iblis' face was red with indignation.  
     "How dare you speak that way to me?!" he spluttered.  "Y-you're
protecting it!  That rabbit is a killer!"  
     "What, this sweet little pink fuzzy thing?  You're off your nut,
you are."  
     Iblis crossed his arms and stuck out his lower lip in a big pout. 
At least, he thought it was a big pout.  He'd seen Captain Apollo do it
once, but trying to go from memory could be difficult when you had
literally eons-worth of things to remember.  
     "Oh sure," he muttered, just loud enough that Brannigan would be
sure to hear him.  "Oh, just a little bunny is it?  Sure, that's what
they all said.  I tried to tell them but would they listen to me?  Oh
nooooo..."  
     Brannigan fixed Iblis with a glare that said, 'Shut yer trap, you
overblown lazy excuse for a vacuum cleaner salesman, or I'll come shut
it for you.'  Well, actually the look may have said something else- I
flunked out of Galactic standard translation in second-year college. 
But I think the look said something like that.  
     "Come on over here, little bunny," Brannigan intoned sweetly. 
"Come and tell me what's wrong.  I won't let the big bad Man from Glad
stomp you."  
     The Bunny stopped booming on his drum and looked uncertainly from
Brannigan to Iblis and back to Brannigan again.  Then, making his
decision, he stuck out his little pink tongue at Iblis and boomed over
to Brannigan.  
     Brannigan knelt down and picked up the little bunny who stopped
booming long enough to let Brannigan get a good, secure grip on him. 
He shuffled his feet once or twice, as if getting comfortable in
Brannigan's hand and began to purr.  Brannigan looked over at Iblis and
smirked.  Iblis harumphed in response.  
     "Go on then- ask him what he's done!"  
     "Alright little bunny," Brannigan's slippery smooth silky tone
soothed the previously agitated little rabbit.  "What is it that you've
done that's got him so fired up?"  He nodded his head, indicating the
insular, indignant Iblis.
     The bunny stood on his tippy-toes to whisper into Brannigan's ear. 

     "What is it?  What's he saying?" Iblis demanded impatiently.  
     "I'm not sure," Brannigan replied, confused.  "Something about a
long lost brother he's found."  
     "Aha!  See, I told you!  I told you, didn't I!  Now ask him 'who.' 
Go on- ask him, ask him..."  
     Brannigan looked imploringly at the bunny who whispered at him
again.  
     "Who?" he said, not quite understanding.  "They have him?  He's
imprisoned by the humans?  Your long lost brother Muffit?"  
 
******************************
 
TAG!  Someone else is 'it' . . .
 
Go crazy,
Barb

* * * *
 
October 10, 2000
Barb challenged:

     A pall of amazement fell upon them all, humans, Iblis, and
Brannigan (whatever he was).  For suddenly, they were not alone.
     A hole opened in the earth between them (no, it wasn't Earth, just
earth -- you know, soil, dirt, ground, that brown stuff under the
grass).
     Out popped the roly-poly body of a pooh bear, who fell over as
soon as he was clear of the hole, and began to roll on his
honey-swelled tummy, only stopping when he landed at Starbuck's feet.
     The human jumped back.
     "Oooh, he looks like my old favorite bedtime buddy," Athena
crooned, stooping to scoop him up.
     Sheba looked disgusted -- a commander's daughter who didn't take
toy Vipers and C.W. Josephs to bed?  What kind of warrior was Athena,
anyway? She was going to have to rethink that friendship.
     The pooh began to speak.
     The humans looked at each other, puzzled, not understanding a
word.
     Iblis quickly interpreted.  "Ah-ha!  He's sworn that he and his
fellow fuzzballs will destroy you for sending their brother Muffit out
the airlock without a tow rope!"
     "We never sent Muffit out an airlock--!" Athena protested.  "We
couldn't do that to something fuzzy and soft and sweet and cuddley..." 
She rocked the pooh bear in her arms, cuddling it.  Starbuck felt
distinctly jealous.
     "That's *not* what the pooh said," Brannigan interjected, annoyed. 
"That bear of little brain just didn't bother to brush his teeth after
that last honey jar, and his teeth are stuck together."
     "So what did he say?" Athena asked logically.
     "He thinks he made a wrong turn at Albuquerque."
     "What's an Albuquerue?"
     "Never mind."  Brannigan looked back at the hole as another
stuffed critter came bounding out -- and kept going, bouncing on its
spring-like tail.
     Unfortunately, this one didn't look where it was going, and
bounced over the cliff.  The group could hear it singing merrily about
being "the only one" as it vanished from sight -- only to reappear a
moment later, bouncing cheerfully up to join them again.
     "Oh, Tigger..."  A third fuzzy animal had come out of the hole --
another long-eared rabbit type thing.
     Iblis was looking downright annoyed at the sudden influx of
stuffed critters -- and a little wheezy too.  He was, after all,
allergic to fur.
 
~~~
 
Okay, that's all  I can come up with this morning....  So what's next?
 
-- Sharon

* * * *

October 20, 2000

Sharon accepted the challenge and went this far:
 
     Iblis was looking downright annoyed at the sudden influx of
stuffed critters -- and a little wheezy too.  He was, after all,
allergic to fur.

************************

     Suddenly a loud thunderclap shook the very ground upon which they
all stood.  Almost as suddenly, a tall, dark man dressed all in black
and carrying a rather large sword came crashing out of the bushes.
     "Tigger!" he bellowed, "Where are you, you mangy tiger?"
     "Oh, right down here, your Uniqueness.  Hoo hoo hoo!"
     With a mildly confused glance at the assortment of Colonial
warriors, gods of the universe, and stuffed animals, the man in black
stalked to the edge of the cliff.  With a nod of acknowledgment at the
fuzzy pink bunny, he leaped over the edge.
     Slightly less suddenly yet than the crashing through the bushes, a
loud hum arose from the bottom of the cliff.  Soon it crescendoed into
a deafening crackle as the very air seared with a mighty electrical
discharge, more dangerously beautiful than any thunderstorm any of them
had ever seen.
     "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" roared up from the canyon bottom at the
apex of the crashing lightning.  Then when they thought they would all
be deafened, if not electrocuted, everything became strangely quiet. 
Even the birds had stopped chirping in the trees.  Not a single sound
was heard in the forest.
     "Hoo hoo hoo!  Missed me!"
     Three boings later, Tigger appeared again at the top of the cliff,
all black and orange and stripey, as he was wont to be.  From far below
was heard gruntings and groanings, the whacking of bushes, and a great
many Scottish curse words.
     "Damned Tiggers!" a rich, deep voice muttered as it, and the body
it belonged to, struggled back up the cliff.
     "Oh, bother," said Pooh, who had finally managed to unstick all
that honey from his teeth.  "Duncan and Tigger get so worked up about
these things... then they make such a fuss..."
     "Oh don't worry, cuddly bear," Athena cooed happily.  "We'll
protect you from those noisy boys.  My Daddy's got the biggest
Battlestar in the whole quadrant, and if you want, I'll get him to
blast them for you."
     "Hey!  What about me?!" Apollo wailed, thinking that his manly
chivalry had been overlooked.
     "Maybe I can get Daddy to blast him too," Athena whispered to
Pooh.  "I always _did_ want to be an only child..."
     Starbuck glanced desperately over at Brannigan, who merely raised
an amused eyebrow and shrugged.
     "Ahhhhhhhhhhh-choo!" Iblis sneezed hay-feveringly.
     "Oh, go blow your nose," Brannigan told him unsympathetically.
     "Ppppppttthhhhhhbbbbblllllllpppphhhhhhhth!" Iblis replied,
brandishing an extra-large, three-ply, lotion-added, kleenex.
     "Eewwwwwwww!" Sheba added.
     "It's time for me to go," Iblis said, when he'd finished.  "But
there will come another time, another place..."
     "Yeah, yeah, yeah... 'And we will meet again.'  Off wi' ye now, ya
big over-stuffed, guardian of all that is evil and in bad taste,"
Brannigan finished for him.
     Iblis harumphed indignantly, wrapped himself in his cloak, and
disappeared in a puff of smoke.  Well, actually, he tried to wrap
himself in his cloak, but discovered, much to his dismay, that
Brannigan was right- he had put on a little weight since the last
millenium.  So eventually he settled for swirling the cloak around in a
malevolent and seemingly evil manner, and then vanished in a puff of
smoke.
     Just about that time, a fairly disheveled Duncan McLeod of the
Clan McLeod (you expected someone else?) appeared at the top of the
cliff again, brandishing his sword.  
     "Tigger!  Where are you now?  Show yourself and prepare to die
like a...well, like a... stuffed animal."  
     Tigger bounced playfully from behind Apollo to crash-land (really,
would Tigger land any _other_ way?) just beyond Duncan's reach. 
Incensed, Duncan attacked, sword in his left hand.  Tigger, who held
his blade similarly, parried and ducked.  Duncan slashed.  Tigger
bounced and flounced and returned blade.  Duncan deflected.  The two
combatants were a blinding flurry of black leather and black and orange
stripey fur.  
     Ting, ting, ting, went their blades as they clinked together.
     "Oh ho!" Duncan exclaimed.  "You are using Bonetti's defense
against me."
     "I thought it fitting," Tigger replied, "considering the rocky
terrain."
     Ting, ting, ting.
     "Naturally, you must expect me to attack with Capophero!" Duncan
continued.
     "Naturally," said Tigger.  "But I find that Tipple cancels out
Capophero, don't you?"
     "Ha!"  Duncan swiped expertly.  "Unless the enemy has studied
Hisagrippa..."
     Tigger bounced effectively away.  Duncan flipped over Tigger in a
very Xena-like fashion, coming up on his other side.
     "...which I have."  
     Ting, ting!  Ting, ting, ting!
     "You are wonderful!" exclaimed Duncan, immeasurably pleased to
have found so worthy an opponent.  
     "Thank-you," Tigger replied, "I've worked hard to become so." 
     "I admit it, you are better than I am."
     Ting, ting, ting.
     "Then why are you smiling?" Tigger queried.
     "Because I know something you don't know," Duncan replied
assuredly.
     "And what is that?"
     Ting, ting, ting.
     "_I_ am not left-handed!"
     Ting!
     Duncan switched the sword to his right hand and attacked
forcefully.
     Ting, ting, ting.
     Tigger leaped and bounced.  He dodged and ducked.  He thrust and
parried. Still Duncan came on.
     "You're amazing!" Tigger exclaimed.
     "I ought to be after twenty years," Duncan replied.  He pressed
forward, catching Tigger off-bounce and pinned his sword against a
rock.
     "There's something I ought to tell you," Tigger confessed.
     "Tell me."
     "I'm not left-handed either!"
     Ting!
     Tigger pushed Duncan away easily and deftly flipped his sword to
his right hand.
     Ting, ting, ting!
     "Well, I'm left-handed . . ." Apollo muttered to no one in
particular.
     The swordfight stopped dead in it's tracks and all in attendance
turned to look directly at Apollo.
     He looked up at them apprehensively.
     They all spoke with one voice.
     "Oh, shut up!"
 
*************************  
 
Tag!
 
 Barb

* * * *

October 21, 2000

     Adding insult to injury, the pink bunny stuck a plastic pink
tongue out at Apollo and then began drumming again, making ever varying
circles around the assembled group.  He drummed around rocks, he
drummed around stones.  He drummed around dirt and clumps of loam.  He
drummed around trees and he drummed around bushes.  He drummed around
knees and he drummed around tushes.
     But when he pinched Sheba's, it was too much.
     With a snarl, she whirled and kicked in best warrior fashion.  The
pink bunny went flying, higher and higher, the sound if its incessant
drumming fading... fading.... fading...
     "Hon, you did a good day's work there," said a new voice.
     The male warriors' eyes nearly popped out (well, Apollo's did, but
he quickly put them back so he could see her again) when the tall,
leggy, slim, short-haired blonde woman with a sword appeared from
behind the same tree that Sheba had earlier been hiding behind.  This
woman was wearing tight black leather -- it was amazing she could move
at all.  She strode over the rocky ground, sword in hand.  The breeze
picked up as if in interest, ruffling the strands of her short hair.
     "Ah, Amanda," Duncan said, a little out of breath.  "Welcome to
the party, you're just in time."
     She eyed the ongoing battle between the now-sweating Duncan and
the cheerfully grinning Tigger.
     More animals had come out of the hole by now, and were anxiously
watching the battle, as if their own fuzzy little lives depended on. 
There were an assortment of bears and bunnies and skunks and deer and
little seals and baby wolves and a giraffe and even an ewok or two and
worst of all, the stupid daggit -- and standing in their midst, were
two little boys.
     "Boxey!  How did you get here?  And who's that other kid?"
Starbuck shouted, horrified at seeing his best friend's son joining the
enemy.  Of course, he was the only one who bothered to notice or to
care.
     "The greatest battle of the universe..." Brannigan intoned.  "Not
even I can help you here, you must find the strength within yourselves
-- oh, and Apollo?  The Sword of Trojan won't do a bit of good, it's
helpless against fuzzy animals and those ensorcelled by them.  Watch
out, Adama, you won't know what side you're on, in this one..."  And
then, like Iblis, he swirled his cloak around himself; unlike Iblis, it
fit him perfectly.  And then, in a flash of smoke and mirrors, he, too,
was gone.
     Adama would ponder those mysterious last words for a long time, as
another gust of wind caught his own cloak and wrapped it around him,
tangling his legs.  Unfortunately, that was the way people disappeared
around here -- there was a popping sound, and the commander was gone.
     "Oh, great," Apollo muttered, tossing the sword aside, not
noticing that his father was gone and his son was here, along with the
daggit.  "He gives me a weapon, and the first time I might need it,
it's useless."
     "Ah, hah!" Duncan shot at Tigger.  "Now you're on your own..."
     "I'm always on my own," Tigger shot back.  "'Cuz I'm the only
one..."
     "There can be only one, and I intend to be it!"
     "Ah-hah!"  Tigger dropped his sword, bounced again, and landed
behind Duncan.  With one furry finger, he touched the Immortal's
shoulder.  "You're it!"
     Duncan whirled, swinging his sword in a wide arc.  Tigger bounced. 
Boomer and Cassie managed to jump out of the way, but the blade nicked
Starbuck.
     "I'm wounded, I'm wounded!"  Starbuck fell, clutching his side.
     Cassiopeia shrieked, throwing herself at him.  "I'm a med tech,
let me--" She pulled his head into her lap and reached out to check the
wound.  "Hey, he didn't even cut you, it just caught in the tunic
padding!"
     "You think I'm gonna miss a chance for a dramatic scene and to get
you close to me?"
     She pushed him out of her lap, stood up, and stalked away to stand
next to Sheba.
     "Well, I suppose I may as well get started," Amanda said, raising
her own blade.  "Now, which one of you fuzzy critters want it first?"
     "Why are you trying to kill the pink fuzzies?" Athena demanded
furiously, putting herself between the stuffed animals and the stacked,
sword-wielding millennial babe in black leather.
     "Hey," Amanda shot back.  "We're Immortals.  We can't have kids. 
What good are pink fuzzies if you can't have kids?"
     "Grown-ups can enjoy cute animals too!" was Athena's indignant
response, cradling the pooh bear even closer so none of the flashing
swords could reach him.  The bear-with-little-brain seemed to be
enjoying his perch.
     Sheba felt increasingly disgusted, watching Athena and the bear.
     "Look, kiddo, you're a bimbo with delusions of competency.  Get
out of my way before one of the fuzzy things sticks a 'kick me' sign on
your back."
     "Oh, yeah?"  Athena stuck out her tongue.
     Amanda tried to push her way past the Colonial warrior.  In her
best bridge manner (the same way she'd once beat Rigel to a cute new
navigation technician), Athena stuck out her foot.
     Amanda tripped and went flying -- with the way the wind had picked
up, it wasn't hard.
     Fortunately, Boomer was ready.  As she sailed into his arms, he
swept her up.
     "I got one, I got one!" he shouted, deliriously happy.
     "Ooohhh...hey...  You've got a nice grip..."  Amanda suddenly lost
her interest in the fuzzy animals.
     With a wide grin, Boomer headed for the bushes.  Over his
shoulder, they saw Amanda wave good bye with the fingers of her free
hand.  Her other hand was wrapped around Boomer's neck.
     "Well, Duncan, it looks like it will be only you..." Apollo said,
feeling just a little bit justified.  Being right-handed obviously
wasn't winning him the day.
     "I don't think so," the other tall, dark, handsome, incredibly
lucky man said.  "At least I get the girls once in a while.  Tag, now
you're it!"  He quickly tapped Apollo on the shoulder and took off
racing over the rocky, uneven terrain.  Unfortunately, he forgot to
watch where he was going.  A rock slipped underfoot, and Duncan McLeod
slipped over the edge of the cliff again.  Another stream of Scottish
curses echoed up from his descent.
     "Well, Apollo," said Sheba, "now what?"
     Staring around, he saw Starbuck still lying on the ground, now
surrounded by fuzzy animals.  He saw Athena, standing with Boxey, also
surrounded by fuzzy animals, including the daggit.  Sheba and Cassie
were starting to look anxious at the way the number of warriors had
dwindled in just the last minute, and the number of fuzzy animals
continued to increase, as even more came creeping, crawling, sneaking,
snaking,  leaping, bouncing, and generally finding new and exciting
ways to get out of the hole.  His sword was nowhere to be seen.  The
breeze continued to pick up.
     Yup, he was it...
 
* * *
 
Sharon

------------

Let me take a moment to gripe and complain.  Due to lack of time, I
wasn't able to enhance this as I normally liked to do.  I was able to
proof it and enhance it only a little.  If I weren't so pressed for
time, I'd spend another day on it.  Unfortunately, if I don't submit
this now, you won't see it for at least a week.

<Gripe Mode Off>

ENJOY!!!!!

October 23, 20000
Robert

     Zinging through the vastness of empty space, which was mostly
empty, but not really, totally empty, an unrecognizable form of Iblis
mumbled to himself.  "Curse those people of Adama's.  They always have
the last laugh.  How can they dare to do something like that to me? 
Especially all those little pests?  I'm Immortal.  I cannot be
allergic.  Nothing can affect me."  There went a supernova.  "I'm
invincible!"  A black hole was formed.  Iblis was outraged to the
highest of high highs and low highs.  "No one claims dominion over
me!!!"
     "Will you ever grow up oh Counter of Tots?"
     Streaking behind Iblis through the pitch black darkness of space
with a few twinkles here and there was Q.  "Didn't you ever learn those
pesky little humans are a nuisance?  You toy with them.  Don't try to
steal their souls.  What fun would that be?  It's not worth it!"
     Iblis formed a human head and snarled at the globely-glook nearby
representing Q.  "Be gone you smart mouthed, know-nothing jest of a
fool.  This is my universe.  Get back to your own."
     "Well, jeeze, you think a supposedly powerful being who doesn't
know it all like I do would be thankful for some advice. But
Noooooooooo.  You're just like Pick-A-Card.  Fine.  So be it.  Don't
come crying to me if your pitiful existence needs help ever again,
especially to escape those moving globes of lights.   They're quite
dull if you ask me."  A brilliant white flash of the brightest light
surrounded Iblis on all asides and quickly vanished marking Q's
departure.
     Metaphorically, Iblis yelled out, "Wimp. Watch this."  A dull red
glow of a microscopic dot appeared and slowly, ever so slow, terribly
slow faded out of existence.
     Back on the planet with everyone else in the story so far, but far
away they wouldn't see him, Iblis appeared in his known form to the
Colonials.  This time he had a bigger white cape.  Without the need for
a high powered telescope, he saw even more little fuzzy things popping
out of the hole.  There was no tribble at all with them filling up the
landscape.
     In the distance on the other side of Iblis, opposite all the
critters, a patch of the ground raised slightly as if something was
underneath.  Something, or someone was.  The dirt never lowered back to
its original place.  What did happen was it moved along leaving a path
of raised dirt.  It wavered back and forth, bumped into a few trees,
rocks, holes and someone's leftover socks.  Even with all the
obstacles, it did approach Iblis without his notice.
     Approximately 7.689936109 metrons behind Iblis, give or take a
billionth of a micron, a fold up, brown chaise lounge popped out
through the dirt, creating a hole in the process.  It landed, unfolded
and placed itself correctly on the ground for use by a bipedal life
form.  A huge purple umbrella shot out through the hole.  The base of
the pole landed beside the lounge and planted itself in the dirt.  The
umbrella opened to shade the lounge from the planet's primary star.  A
white gloved hand holding a bucket of carrots appeared in the hole and
placed the bucket next to the opening.  The hand disappeared back in
the hole, replaced by a head with long gray ears and white whiskers.
     "Fantastic Carrot Festival, here I am!!!" he yelled out for all to
hear.  The being looked around and did not see any rows of garden
carrots fresh for the picking.  No tables, tents, kettles, or vents of
baked carrot steam were evident.  It was simply a place of more dirt,
sand, rocks, trees and humbly flowered land in the immediate area, save
for a certain figure dressed in white who stood in the not so far
distance.
     "Hey, this isn't San Gardeen-ino Heights."  He reached down into
the hole and pulled out a map.  Unfolding it, he checked through where
he thought he was and may have went.  "Hmm.  I should have taken that
left turn at Albuquerque.  Maybe this gentleman can help me."
     He stashed the map back into the hole without folding it first and
popped himself out like a piece of bread shot from a tight spring
toaster.  He reached to his hip and out of nowhere pulled a carrot to
start eating.  A few chomping steps later he stood behind the man in
white who apparently never noticed the new presence.
     "Ah, pardon me."  He reached up to tap the man in white's
shoulder.  "Could you direct me to the Funtastic Funderful Festival of
Carrots in San Gardeen-ino or parts thereof?"
     The man in white simply turned.  When he saw it was yet another
animal polluting his area of presence, Iblis donned a Black Acme Gas
Mask with Oxygen Tank, the latter of which was hanging from his hip.
     "YIPES!!!!"  The critter looked back at the people reading this
part of the story and thumbed back towards Iblis.  'Miss that left turn
and end up in the land of masquerade rejects.'  He returned his
attention to Iblis.  "Eh..."  The long eared, white whiskered animal
took a few more bites of his carrot.  "What's up, doc?"
     Steam protruded out from under the mask.  What little of Iblis'
face could still be seen was beat blood red.
     Bugs Bunny was confused as to this bozo's problem.  He was
determined to have an answer to his question though.  "Hey look bud, if
ya want bake yerself out here, go ahead.  But it would be polite to
remove the mask so I can hear you."
     The reply was quite muffled and difficult to understand.  Iblis
raised his hands as high in the sky as he could reach in the human
form.  "BE GONE or I will make you be no more!"
     "Say what?"  Bugs took another bite of his carrot, not affected at
all by the presence.  The initial shock wore off.  If you saw one
loony, you saw them all.  "If ya take off that thems mask, I could
understand you."
     Iblis violently ripped off the mask and threw it high into the
heavens.  The tank of Oxygen dropped from his hip and banged down onto
his foot.  "I said Be Gone!!"  Too late.  The sneezing started.
     "Heh.  All I asked for was directions.  You don't hafta be so rude
about it."
     The small, itsy bitsy, tiny lightning sparked from Iblis' hands. 
It was a trifle redundant he hadn't thought about something else. 
Afterall, how much energy was an immortal able to store and discharge
before shorting out?  He sneezed some more.
     It reminded Bugs of some man in a Viking suit on stage singing,
"Kill the Rabbit.  Kill the Rabbit."  His ears fell flat beside his
head.  The rabbit began to back away, slowly at first.  The electricity
in the air intensified.  Sparks flew everywhere.  A flew bounced off
his feet.
     "I think I'll go ask someone else."  Quickly he added, "I didn't
mean to intrude upon your electrical dischargedness.  I'll ask all
those people way over there where you were staring.  Some critter there
can help me."
     That was the last straw.  The word, "Critter," infuriated Iblis. 
He began to throw lightning bolts at Bugs.  The rabbit ducked the first
one, and jumped over the second.  He turned and ran back for the cover
of his hole.  A third lightning bolt shot from Iblis' right hand, (he
wasn't left handed) and hung right behind Bugs' tail, threatening to
burn it to a crisp.  He turned around and tried to blow it out like a
candle while running full steam in the opposite direction.  Didn't
work.  Throwing his legs into hyperrun, Bugs took a jump as if he were
on a three metron spring-board and dove into his hole while the
lightning bolt shot over the top and into a tree.  Two lightning bolts
landed on either side of the hole and destroyed the surrounding ground
exposing Bugs Bunny.
     Iblis yelled at the top of his immortal lungs, "You will now feel
the Wrath of Darkness!!!!!!!!!"  He held his two hands above his head
and created a small fireball.  It grew in size as he held it high. 
More and more ground around him in an expanding circle became barren.
     Bugs jumped out of the crater he now sat in and headed for the
nearest tree.  It really was not a bright idea since a tree would burn
faster than a match when the enlarging fireball hit it.  He sat on the
ground and waited for the fire hot man to leave.  No joy.  Iblis
unleashed the fireball which was big enough to envelope a human, or a
rabbit in this case.  It sizzled through the air and hit the tree dead
on.  The tree did not explode or even catch fire.  It merely withered
to a black line of ashes and rained to the ground into a single tiny
pile.
     "Oh oh.  Wait until Smokey the Bear hears about this."
     Iblis formed another fireball above his head.  Bugs Bunny stood
and ran for the nearest and largest rock possible.  He did another
spring like dive as the fireball was sent towards him.  Rabbit ears
appeared from behind the rock.  Were they real or a decoy?  The
fireball raced towards its target is slow motion.  Raced in slow
motion?  Yes.  That's the only way to carry out the dramatic effect.
     The ears did not move.  The sound of the crackling fire could be
heard soon followed by the smell of burning air.  The ears remained
stationary.  Five, very long microns were all that remained before the
rock went boom with the fireball blast.  Bugs stood up from behind the
rock.  Yes, it was his real ears showing the whole time.  He had a
Fireman's Superhose tucked under his arm.  He pulled back on the
release bar and shot a super huge jet of water from the Superhose at
the fireball, extinguishing it to nothing more than a harmless cinder. 
Unfortunately, Bugs Bunny had not anchored himself well and flew
backwards with the hose in hand.  It shot water everywhere with Bugs
clinging on for life.  It bucked him around like a wild bull, thrashed
him like a heavy whip, bashed him as an giant to a tiny insect.  
     When the water finally died out, Bugs let go, hunched over and
panted.  He looked over at Iblis and perked up.  "Ha ha.  You can't get
me."
     The Colonials were bad enough to irritate Iblis' single nerve. 
The long eared pest was even worse.  The man in white stomped the
ground towards the rabbit.  The land quaked, shaked, rattled and
rolled.  A ring of lightning circled Iblis' waist like a hula hoop. 
Stacks of lightning danced beside him.  A cloud of thunder boiled
overhead.
     Bugs Bunny looked terrified.  He backed his way into some more
trees.  He saw the mad man, spirit or whatever it was still in Hot
Pursuit.  The rabbit looked around for a place to run or hide.  It
seemed there was no chance of escape.  The skies clouded over.  The
atmospheric temperature vehemently increased.  The moment of a rabbit's
final wish was upon him.  He was trapped.
     Iblis frothed at the mouth.  "I told you once, I told you niner
thousand times.  Get out of here!  You didn't.  Now you pay."
     "Pay?"  Bugs livened up.  "You're looking for money?  I have a
bucket worth a couple hundred karats.  Will that do?"  He gave a meek
smile.  "I guess not.  <gulp>"
     Iblis stood on his tip toes and pulled energy from the air.  His
hands glowed bright, but not as bright as Q's blink out of this
universe.  The biggest, the highest charged, the mightiest of mighty
lightning bolts thrashed through the air from Iblis to the Rabbit. 
Iblis heard a song go something like this.  "Kill the rabbit.  Kill the
rabbit.  KILL the Rabbit!"
     Bugs Bunny cowered waiting for the strike.  He knew his time was
at an end like it was in all his stories.  Falling to his knees, he
made his final prayer to whomever said, "I should have seen it coming
when the rabbit died."  He whipped out a pen and paper from nowhere to
write his seventy-secondth will.  His eyes crossed at the lightning
bolt only a split second away.  Even the whiskers twitched their last
twitch.
     Bugs reached behind himself and pulled out steel plated,
reflective surface, garbage can lid.  He held it out in front of him. 
The lightning bolt harmlessly bounced off it and back towards Iblis. 
The Count did not believe his eyes.  This was impossible.  There was no
way it could happen.  But it did.
     "HOW?!?!?!?!?"
     Bugs pulled out another carrot from who knows where.  "Eeeeehhhh,
hey doc.  You can't destroy me.  I'm a cartoon character."  
     Iblis did not have a chance to say anything before the lightning
was but a hare's breath away in universal terms of time.  He wrapped
his white cape around him, burst into fire and disappeared.  The
lightning bolt fizzled into nothingness.
     "Heh, that was some magik trick.  I guess I can joins thems
partying down there before I go San Gardeen-ino Carrot Festival."  He
dug a new hole and disappeared leaving only a trace of rising dirt as a
trail.


     Shots were heard underground.  The animals coming up through the
hole scattered for cover.  The rest of the group looked around in
confusion.  The sounds they heard underground were unlike anything they
ever heard before.  They even thought they heard a mumble or two. 
Apollo picked up his Sword of Trojan and swung it like a baseball bat,
ready to strike whatever came out of the hole next.  More shots fired;
some bullets popped out of the hole.  Apollo tried to hit them but
struck out.
     "Great horny toads.  Where did all these ribbits come from? I'm
looking for a rabbit, not a ribbit."  A huge cowboy hat emerged.  It
was bigger than the 10 gallon silver hat Apollo wore into Lacerta's
Saloon.  Underneath it was a short, stubby looking individual with red
hair and a mustache that acted as a beard.  He held two, six shot
revolvers, one in each hand.  Everything was quiet, all the people, all
the animals and even the wind. He fired off more shots without the
worry of using all his bullets.  His guns had an endless supply -
usually.
     "Aw right all you blarney, hog rolling varmits.  Where did he go?"
     Sheba took herself to the front of the cowering crowd on the bare
land.  The animals went scurrying around Athena.  Sheba looked back,
clicked her tongue and looked down the barrels of the revolvers. 
"Where did who go?  And who are you"
     "Not who, he.  I'm Yosemite Sam.  I'm here to cook that rabbit's
goose for my rabbit stew."
     Sheba crossed her arms defiantly.  "What's a rabbit?"
     "What's a rabbit?  Suffering Stool Pigeons.  It's gray and white
with long ears and a cotton tail."  He fired off a dozen more shots
from each revolver.  "And I ain't leaving here until I have him hog
tied and roasting in a pot of rabbit stew.  If anyone dares to cross
the line..."
     Sheba walked right up to him and stomped on his feet.  "What line
is that?"
     Before Yosemite Sam could reply, Apollo ran over with his sword
and tried to figure out that "It" everyone did.  If he remembered, he
had to release one of his hands from the heavy sword.  If he did that,
he would be defenseless.  Why was he always it and no one else?  It
wasn't fair to a Captain.  Apollo stomped his feet back and forth in a
temper tantrum since he couldn't let go of his Trojan without dropping
his load.  Of weapons that is.

************

TAG!!! Who's Next?

Robert

* * * *

October 28, 2000
Maggie H.

Okay, I'll try to add to this madness.  It won't be very long, but
let's see...  here it goes:

     Ignoring the temper tantrum beside her, Sheba put her hands on her
hips, tilted her head at the funny little man, who was glaring up at
her, waving his revolvers, and trying vainly to free his toes, and
added, "Why don't you hand me those before you hurt yourself?"  She
deftly plucked the guns, one at a time, from his grasp, and calmly
gazed at Yosemite Sam, twirling the revolvers around each index finger.
     The man's face turned boiling red, his hat shot up off his head
and a blast of steam erupted from each ear, giving him enough impulse
to yank his toes free.  Sputtering and spitting out unrecognizable
words, he vanished back into his hole.
     Sheba, laughing, was about to make a comment, when suddenly the
winds began  to blow ominously, the dark clouds roll in, and strange,
ominous music could be heard in the background...
     Nine figures materialized out of nowhere.  They were humanoid,
dressed in dark grey, tight uniforms, and robotic appendages protruded
from their heads, chest, and arms.  One eye was human-looking, the
other was a cybernetic implant.  In unison, they raised arms that ended
in eerie-looking weapons.  They whirred electronically as they
approached.  The lead figure said in an emotionless voice: "Resistance
is futile.  You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.  You will be
assimilated."
     Athena and Starbuck, scrambling to his feet, grabbing for their
lasers.  Apollo tightly grasped his sword with both hands, attempting
to frighten off the strange humanoids.  Sheba, concentrating on the
approaching figures, forgot that she still held the revolvers, not
lasers, and pointed them at the intruders.
     The sea of warm, fuzzy critters, however, mistakenly
misinterpreting the words, welcomingly flooded towards the nine
attackers.  The Borg soldiers stopped abruptly as their sensors
registered the bizarre mixture of rabbits, bears, Tigger and other
felines, as well as many others.  They paused.  "Resistance  . . .is
futile.   . . .You  . . .will be assim -- assim -- assim . . . "  They
cocked their heads at the rapidly approaching mass, then took a step
backwards.  "Assimilation would result in the immediate destruction of
the Collective!  Retreat!"
     As quickly as they appeared, they vanished in shimmering lights.
Mysteriously (because it really had no connection to the Borg), the
winds calmed and the skies cleared once more.  The ominous background
music was gone, leaving our heroes (I've forgotten who all is left --
Apollo, Sheba, Starbuck, and Athena, I believe!) alone once more with
the humongous horde of warm fuzzy critters. . .
 
*******************************************
Okay, at least I tried!  Someone else's turn!!   Hey, Katrina, how
about it?
 
Maggie  :-)

* * * *


October 28, 2000
I can't help it, there were NINE of them....


     Cassiopiea stepped forward in wonder, staring at the spot where
the nine had stood, now swarming with fuzzy things.  For the moment, at
least, the hole had stopped disgorging more of the stuffed critters,
and now it appeared that the five warriors had only the current batch
of fuzzies to deal with -- and the way Athena was crooning at the pooh
bear, she couldn't be counted on to help.
     "There were nine of them, Apollo," Cassie breathed breathily,
quickly gaining Starbuck's attention.  "Do you know what that means?"
     Apollo stopped playing with his sword and followed her breathing.
     "Uh, nine..."
     Sheba gave him a quick nudge in the ribs that took his breath
away.  He would have appreciated Cassie's breathing at that moment.
     "Nine, right..."  He paused.  Sheba with lasers with dangerous
enough; Sheba with pistols in hand, glaring poisonously, was worse. 
"Nine..."  He remembered all the wonderful things he'd read in his
father's mystical books, of many things, of seas, and ships, and
sealing rings, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea was boiling hot,
and whether pigs had wings.  He gulped.  "Nine.  Of course!  It could
be the mysterious riders of Mordor!  Or was it Morden?  Or the Gray
Council?  Or both?  Or each?  Or neither?  Oh, I'm so confused!"
     "Hey, this is BG, not B5!" Sheba grumbled, elbowing him again. 
"Think, Apollo.  What does It mean?"
     His expression suddenly brightened, and he caught his breath
(finally) in awe.  "Why, it's--"
 
****
 
I'll follow Maggie's lead -- Katrina?
 
-- Sharon

* * * *


November 12, 2000

     "Yes, It is," interrupted a somewhat drippy voice.
     Distracted, Apollo turned to see that Iblis had returned, and was
now busily spraying nasal spray up his aristocratic nostrils in an
attempt to deal with all the flying fur and his allergies.
     "Oh, what does he want now?" Athena complained.  The pooh in her
arms had been joined by a matched pair of furbys, one on each shoulder,
and by something fuzzy clinging to her neck, giving her the decided
appearance of having bunny ears sticking up through her hair.
     Iblis ignored her.  "Apollo, you don't want to be It anymore. 
Being It is more than you can handle, along with the Sword of Trojan. 
You want go pass on the burden," he said hypnotically.  "You want me to
be It.  You want to touch me.  Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me..."
     "Ha!" Starbuck cut in coldly.  "I know what happens if he touches
you -- we all wind up in corsets and fishnet stockings!  Apollo, don't
listen to him--"
     From somewhere, came a peculiar whine, punctuated by rhythmic
thuds...
     But Starbuck's words had gotten though.  Apollo shook his head. 
"Sorry, Iblis, I'm not going to touch you.  You won't be the It-man."
     Iblis glared threateningly.  "You don't know what you're
condemning yourself to, Apollo.  I'm the only one here who can save you
from the consequences of being It."  He interrupted himself for a
string of sneezes, one right after the other.
     "I guess that spray just isn't doing the trick, is it?" Starbuck
said smugly.  "Say, Athena, you think you could stand a little closer
to Iblis?"
     Iblis glared, then threw a small lightning bolt.  It went astray
when he sneezed again, hitting the bushes behind which Boomer and
Amanda had vanished.  A pair of harmonized "Ouches" immediately
followed, as the bushes continued to sizzle.
     Somewhere overhead, the whining sound continued.  Cassie and Sheba
had finally noticed it, and were looking around, trying to discover the
source.
     "Look out!" Cassie suddenly shrieked, pointing up.
     The fuzzies and warriors scattered.  Iblis was too busy sneezing
to scatter.
     The sound increased, and now they could all see it -- something
pink was falling toward them, the merciless thud continuing, ever
louder and louder, until--
     It hit them.  It was the pink rabbit, the ever-going, eternal,
ever-ready rabbit, falling, falling...
     Then the rabbit hit the ground, shaking the earth (the dirt, not
the planet, I told you that already, but I thought I better remind you)
and vanishing into the ground at their feet.
     After a long moment of silence, every began to gather around the
small crater.  There were fuzzies and furries of all types, including
rabbits and squirrels and moose and cute baby animals and pooh critters
and 'toons.  There were two small boys, one with a daggit.  There were
four warriors and a med tech.  And there was Iblis.
     "Wow," Cassie commented in awe.  "Sheba, when you kick them out,
you send them out of this world!"
     "But it came back," Sheba said somewhat mournfully.  "Why couldn't
my father come back?  Why just these irritating fuzzy animals and
Iblis?  Why can't the ones I want to come back, come back?  Am I so
hard to come back to?  I mean, I didn't kick my father, I don't kick
Apollo -- well, not much anyway, and only in the teeth -- so why don't
they come back?  I've kicked a lot of Cylon fanny in my day, but they
keep coming back.  This stupid fuzzy animal came back when I kicked it. 
What is it about kicking--"
     "Enough already!" broke in several anguished voices.
     In the unexpected silence, they heard something.  The rhythmic
thudding had commenced.
     "Drums...drums in the deep," said Apollo, mesmerized.  Visions of
Mordor -- or was it Morden? -- ran through his head.  No, it wasn't
Mordor, it was Khazad-dum -- or was it Z'ha'dum?  His thoughts drifted
deeper, deeper, pondering the gray mysteries of shadows and
starlight...
     "Is there anything that doesn't mesmerize you, buddy?" Starbuck
demanded.
     "Yeah, me," was Iblis's muttered response.  "Sheba kicks them in
the butt and they come back -- ah-choo! -- but I can't even keep them
with honey and promises of dominion over the universe.  Ah-choo!  What
is it about me?  Am I such a bad guy?  Ah-choo!"
     "Will you stop sneezing on me?" Starbuck complained.
     "Actually, Iblis, yes, you are such a bad guy.  Have you
considered giving up this 'dominion-over-the-universe,
control-of-other's-souls' thing?  I mean, it makes you awfully hard to
like," Apollo said, a little sympathetically.  He knew what it felt
like to be considered autocratic and uncaring -- he knew how some of
the warriors and people in the fleet talked about him.  "I mean--" 
Without thinking, he reached for Iblis' shoulder.
     "Stop that!" Sheba said firmly, grabbing Apollo's wrist.  "The
hand that touches Iblis will never touch me again!"
     His ploy for sympathy foiled, Iblis glared at Sheba and prepared
to unleash another lightning bolt.
     "Now, Iblis, you know what happened last time you tried to fork us
with that!" Starbuck said hastily from the ground.  He'd also jumped to
stop Apollo from inadvertently touching Iblis and making him It,
winding up with his arms around Apollo's ankles in what should have
been a flying tackle, but which would only have thrown Apollo into
Iblis, if Sheba hadn't moved first.
     Iblis glared balefully, but another fit of sneezing hit him. 
Unfortunately, he'd already committed to the lightning bolt.  Because
of sneeze, the bolt went up his nose.  There was a sudden shriek of
outrage and pain, and Iblis vanished.
     The drumming continued.
     At about that time, Boomer and Amanda reappeared from behind the
burning bushes, holding hands most romantically, their clothing and
hair somewhat disheveled.
     "So what's going on?" Boomer demanded.  "We nearly got singed back
there!"
     "Woulda served you right," Starbuck said, eyes fixed on Amanda's
cleavage, which was now on much better display, since her tight black
leather was somewhat unlaced in that region of her body.
     Cassie elbowed him.
     "Hey, I got steam burned, the least he can--"
     She elbowed him again.  "Look, everybody, the crater!"
     The entire group, human and otherwise, turned their attention back
to the crater, watching apprehensively.
     From the hole in the middle where the pink rabbit had sunk from
view, a figure reappeared.
     "The energizing rabbit..." Pooh said almost reverently, squirming
for a better view from his perch in Athena's arms.  Murmurs of
agreement came from the other stuffed animals, fuzzies, and 'Toons.
     The bunny popped into full view, then began to circle the crater,
drumming even louder.
     Something else began to rise from the center of the crater.
     As the warriors and animals watched, a large, furry creature with
two large teeth slowly rose into view.  The rabbit continued to drum
its insistent rhythm.
     And the creature began to gyrate in tune.
     "Oh my god," Amanda shrieked in dismay.  "It's...the Gopher!"
 
* * *
--Sharon


The End