REVELATIONS
                        By Elise Barrier

Posted: June 18, 2004

There are those who believe that life here began out there, far across
the universe, with tribes of humans who may have been the forefathers of
the Egyptians, or the Toltecs, or the Mayans. Some believe that there may
yet be brothers of man who, even now, fight to survive, somewhere beyond
the heavens...

                             Part I

     Alone in the celestial chamber, Starbuck held a small wooden box,
tracing its intricate designs with a fingernail, reliving the last night
he'd spent with Cassiopeia as vividly as though it were presently
occurring.  He remembered every detail.  The red dress he loved, her soft
perfume, the stars.  She had been so obviously upset, but he'd never
figured out exactly why.  He'd dismissed it as one of those woman things
he'd never understand, but would eventually be held accountable for.  He
filed it away for future reference.  It would assuredly resurface.  Most
of his interactions with women did.
     Later the comments that seemed so innocent at the time would take on
greater meaning.  He would see the entire event in a different context. 
The scene played out in his mind like a particularly bad play. 

      He arrived late for his evening with Cassie.  For once, it really
wasn't his fault...  Starbuck had been banished to the deep space patrol
schedule by Colonel Tigh as a matter of discipline for having shown up
late for briefings one too many times.  Apollo was on the patrol simply
because it was his turn.  All Warriors despised the deep patrols and more
than one pilot had lost his senses from the stress of the prolonged
reconnaissance flights. 
     Apollo did not mind the long, usually boring missions when Starbuck
was his wingmate.  The lieutenant always had a good story to tell or a
joke to pass along.  They were best friends and shared a brotherhood only
men who'd fought life and death battles side by side could know.
     Several centars into the patrol and after catching up on the latest
Warrior gossip, Starbuck abruptly grew quiet.  Apollo called to his buddy
wondering if his wingmate had drifted into an unscheduled sleep period. 
It wasn't time, but Apollo did not mind.  As much as he enjoyed
Starbuck's company, he also enjoyed time alone with own thoughts.  There
was little time to daydream on board the Galactica and the long patrols
allowed him that bit of indulgence.
     "Apollo?"  Starbuck's voice disturbed his wingmate's reverie.
     "Thought you were sleeping."     
     "No, couldn't sleep.  I was just thinking."
     Apollo was honestly startled,  "Unh-uh.  Not you!"  He was
immediately sorry for teasing his buddy.  Starbuck was seldom forthright
with anyone about his feelings and this could be one of those moments. 
"Sorry, buddy, just teasing.  What's on your mind?"
     "You still miss Serina?"  Starbuck asked.  
     Apollo felt like his old friend had just sucker punched him.  He
hadn't been expecting that. The painful longing in the pit of his stomach
was never far away and having her name spoken aloud was enough to make
him choke on his reply.  
     "Why?"
     "I was just wondering," Starbuck evaded.
     "This have something to do with you and Cassiopeia?" Apollo asked,
also dancing around his emotions.
     "Yeah.  I was just wondering if...  well... if it was worth it? 
Getting Sealed and all when things didn't... I mean when things happened
like they did." 
     Starbuck knew Serina's death was still very close to Apollo and he
didn't want to bring anything up that would hurt his Warrior brother. 
Still, he had to know some answers to some very deep questions and Apollo
was the only person in the universe he could trust with anything this
personal.
     "You're going to ask Cassie to take the Seal?" 
      Just like Apollo to cut to the chase, Starbuck thought.
     "I think she's expecting that after all this time.  I'm pretty sure
she wants to."  Starbuck was still avoiding a direct answer.
     "What about you?  What do you want?  Do you love her?" Apollo asked
sensing impending doom for his buddy.
     "I love her.  I want to spend the rest of my life with her.  I just
keep thinking..."  Starbuck's voice trailed away and for a moment Apollo
thought his communicator had failed.
     "Apollo!  Better check you scanner.  We've got company!"  Starbuck
shouted over the commline.  
     Apollo rubbed the weariness from his eyes and focused on the
impending attack.  Only six raiders were showing on his scanner.  Just
about right for a Cylon probe unit.  For just a micron, Apollo thought
they might reverse thrusters and escape detection, but then one of the
raiders fired.  He was out of range and the shot went harmlessly aside,
but they had definitely been detected.  No chance now to return to the
Galactica.  To return would be to give the Cylons the coordinates to the
fleet.  They were on their own.
     Apollo just managed to get off a narrow beam emergency warning
transmission to the Galactica before his Viper was engaged by the Cylons. 
While he had no desire to die, he honestly had no fear of death either. 
The desire to live combined with lack of fear was what made men like
Apollo and Starbuck great Warriors.
     Apollo blasted two Cylon ships to bits without breaking a sweat. 
Starbuck likewise obliterated two of his attackers.  The two remaining
Cylon raiders were proving more problematic.  One had attached itself to
Starbuck's rear in his blindspot and was preparing to move in for the
kill.  Starbuck saw the raider slip behind him and could sense that he
was in a world of trouble.  
     How ironic, he thought, Lieutenant Starbuck, Warrior extraordinaire,
dead on a routine patrol!
     "Apollo?  I could do with your help about now!" he called to the
captain.
     "I see it.  Hang on.  I've got a little attachment myself."
     "Apollo?  Could you hurry?  These guys are serious!"
     Apollo could see that his wingmate was in trouble, but just this
micron there was nothing he could do about it.  He wasn't going to be
able to help anybody if he couldn't shake his own unwelcome counterpart. 
Reversing thrusters and using maximum braking flaps, then executing a
perfect nosedive, Apollo managed to both lose his tail and come up facing
Starbuck's Viper. 
     Starbuck was relieved to see what Apollo had planned.  The captain
had managed to get Starbuck's attacker in his sights, while artfully
guiding his own attacker into Starbuck's line of fire.  Both Viper pilots
fired at once and the Cylon ships exploded simultaneously.  This was a
tactic they'd performed before.  Other Warriors might duplicate it, but
it was a signature maneuver for Starbuck and Apollo.  It never failed.  
     Apollo shouted his elation, but his victory celebration was short
lived.  Starbuck's Viper had been hit by the last salvo of his tailing
raider.  Two of his Viper's three engines were barely functional.  He was
in no grave danger, as long as they encountered no more Cylons, but it
would be a long trip home.

     Cassie had reserved a private dining compartment as was their custom
when Starbuck returned from a long patrol.  Naturally, she'd already
ordered his favorites and chilled the ambrosa.  She poured herself a
glass and relaxed, prepared to wait until he bothered to show.
     The door slid aside with Starbuck already spilling the dramatic
excuses with which he planned to regale her.  She simply rose to greet
him with a smile.  She was wearing a backless red dress with a shawl that
moved like the wings of an angel as she lifted her hands to his face. 
Laying a finger across his lips to shush him, she led him to the awaiting
dinner.
     Starbuck was as much in love as he could imagine that a man could
be.  Cassie was truly beautiful, not just physically, but in a way he
couldn't explain.  She had become very important to him.  So important
that he was taking a bit of ribbing from his fellow Warriors and gambling
buddies.  He responded to their jibes as though he thought them jealous
of his ability to capture the hearts of the most beautiful women in the
fleet.  Only Apollo knew that his friend was already considering his
options with Cassiopeia.  Things were getting too close and Starbuck, the
fearless Warrior, was scared to death.
     A decision had to be made, indeed, his decision was made on his last
patrol with Apollo.  The close call with the Cylons had enlightened him
as to the foolishness of his plan to take the Seal with Cassie.  Sometime
very soon Lieutenant Starbuck would wreck their relationship.  But for
this night, he chose to bask in the warmth of that gorgeous smile.
     Satisfyingly stuffed with treats he could not have gotten his hands
on with a sectar's pay, Starbuck lay back in Cassie's arms.  She stroked
his brow soothingly and sang to him a Gemonese love song.  This was
absolutely perfect.  Most men could only dream of such a night, yet even
as he was staring into those ocean blue eyes, he was contemplating
ruining it. He wanted to declare his love for Cassie.  He wanted to tell
her how perfect this evening was, how much he loved and appreciated her,
even how proud he was that she'd become a valued medical technician, but
the words he wanted to say to her were buried beneath a lifetime of loss.
     Starbuck contemplated his recent conversation with Apollo.  His
buddy never answered his questions about getting Sealed, but Starbuck
thought the Cylon attackers had likely given him all the answers he
needed.  His choice to become a Warrior so long ago now bedeviled his
longing to marry Cassie.
     He could not - would not - allow himself the indulgence of a family
when his own life was constantly at risk.  He knew all too well what it
was like to grow up without a father and he swore to himself he'd never
do that to his own child.
     "I have some things to say to you... and not all of it is easy.  I'm
not sure I understand it all myself.  Cassiopeia, I know I must be the
luckiest man in this fleet.  You're the most beautiful woman I've ever
known."
     Cassie smiled at him.  The words were right, but something was
wrong.
     "You have prepared the most perfect evening a man could imagine."
     Cassie kissed him.  Her heart was breaking for she knew what was
coming.  She'd been here before.
     "I can not imagine coming back to Galactica and being greeted by any
more perfect sight than you, right here, with the stars shining behind
you."
     Upon reflection, he wished he'd stopped right there, but as usual,
he just didn't know when to shut up.
     "I wish the two of us could stay like this forever.  You and me."
     "It could be like this... always, if you wanted that..." Cassie
offered. It was a wistful, longing desire suggesting a commitment. 
They'd had this conversation before.
     Starbuck sighed.  He, too, could tell where this conversation was
destined to end up.  He hadn't intended to end his relationship with her
this way.  He already missed her.  He could still choose differently...
     "Cass.  I love you."
     He held her close, his hands on either side of her face.  He kissed
her tenderly and for a micron Cassie's heart soared.  She loved him more
than any man she'd ever known.  She was certain that he loved her. 
Hadn't he just said so?  But then he pulled away from her and stood
gazing out the port at the fleet and the starfield beyond.
     "What do you want from me?"
     She didn't answer.  Her heart was breaking for once again her hopes
and dreams for the future would be blown away like just so much astral
dust.  She wanted to run from this moment, but where would she go?  And
to whom would she run?  There was no one but Starbuck, had been no one
but him since the destruction of the colonies.  Cassie sat waiting,
hoping against hope, but deep in her heart, she already knew what was
about to happen.
     Eventually, Starbuck spoke.  Without breaking his intent gaze on the
distant stars, he broke yet another heart.
     "Cass," he repeated.  "How can I commit to anyone when I don't know
if I'll even be around past the next patrol?  How can I, or any Warrior,
take the Seal knowing that one of these days I'll miss and the Cylon
won't?"
     "I think maybe that's a chance you have to let me take," Cassiopeia
asserted, standing to place her arms around his waist.  "Maybe it's
better to take what time God allows us, than to live in fear of what
might happen."
     Unbidden, an image of Serina and Apollo came to her mind.  Their's
had been a fairytale love story gone terribly wrong, ruined by the
Cylons.
     "You told me once that being afraid of what might happen was a lousy
way to live..."
     He didn't look at her.  He couldn't bring himself to look at her
hopeful face.  This was a decisive moment. It was an opportunity to
change all that had gone before and move on to a new life or he could
choose status quo.  Or could he?  What exactly was wrong with how things
were?
      "I can't do that.  I can't risk starting a family that I probably
won't be around for.  I can't fly into battle afraid I'll be leaving
behind a wife and family.  That kind of relationship would change how I
fight.  Make me too cautious and probably get me and maybe other Warriors
killed in battle."  He didn't add that he was more afraid of letting
himself love her than of dying in battle.
     He took her upper arms in his hands, noticing as he did that his
hand completely encircled her arm.  Even when they first met and she was
injured, frightened, and half-starved, she had not appeared fragile. 
Now, he was aware of how thin she'd become recently.
     "Can't we just leave things as they are?"  There was a plea for
understanding and patience in his voice.
     She considered everything he said. There were those who might have
hated Starbuck for this moment, but Cassie was not one of those for, if
she were truly honest with herself, she understood how he felt.  It
didn't ease her pain.  It wasn't going to change what she had to do, but
she did understand.
     Her smile faded, it was her turn to study fiery stars.  "I
understand," she said simply.
     She hadn't moved, but suddenly Starbuck felt very alone.  A chill
traveled down his spine.  He knew he had done it again.  Thrown away his
chance to be truly happy.  And why?  Because it was easier to throw away
an opportunity at happiness than to have it ripped away once it had
become a part of his soul.  As long as he could keep love at a sufficient
distance, it could not hurt him.
     Or could it?
     Cassie stared into his eyes.  This was the moment her decision had
to be made.  There would be no turning back.  And then the moment passed
and her decision was made, almost without her knowledge.
     Starbuck thought she was going to cry.  He gave her his best ruffian
smile, head cocked to the side.  Slowly, Cassie returned his smile and
allowed herself to slide into his embrace.  There was a change in the air
of the compartment, a melancholy that hadn't been there before.  Starbuck
had the strangest feeling that she was telling him good-bye.
     "Cass?"  Her eyes were bright, but she kissed him tenderly and once
again shushed him into silence.

     Chameleon stood watching the fleet's orphaned toddlers playing in
the brightly colored children's rejuvenation center.  Little ones as
young as two- and three-yahren old pointed finger-lasers at their
youthful counterparts who dutifully fell to the deck in mock demise. 
Poignantly, he realized most of their games, even at such a very young
age, centered around war.  He loved them all, but held special affection
for a particular waif with golden blonde curls and light blue eyes.
     A part of Chameleon's punishment for a previous uproar he'd created
with the Borellian Nomen was community service aboard the orphan ship. 
Adama sentenced him there as a rather merciful discipline intended to
keep him from creating further misguided, if well-intentioned havoc. 
Adama had placed the old swindler in the care of a lovely siress, but
once the old con man assumed the role of an honest man, she'd lost
interest in him and moved on.  Chameleon found himself fulfilled by his
new life in ways he never could have imagined.  He really had become an
honest man.
     Almost.  There was that one thing he still hid.  But a promise was a
promise and he was nothing if not loyal to his friends.
     Chameleon drifted back two years to the day he'd discovered
Cassiopeia sitting alone on the entertainment deck of the Rising Star. 
She was swirling her glass of ambrosa without drinking it and did not
realize it was Chameleon who sat down beside her.
     Chameleon did not like to presume that he could guess other's
troubles.  There were myriad woes among the fleet.  But, he'd known
Cassie long enough to speculate.
     "Need some company?" he asked.  She was about to reply that she
would prefer to be alone, then recognized Starbuck's father.  Chameleon
had, of course, meant nothing more than concern, not the typical pick-up
line Cassie was accustomed to hearing from men.
     She was lovely, even for a Gemon, tall and lithe, with light blonde
hair and eyes as blue as the Gemon ocean.  Men from all colonial tribes
found the combination irresistible and sometimes their unwelcome advances
were overwhelming.  She was relieved to see Chameleon.  She needed a
confidant and she could trust him with her heart for she had helped him
hide the fact that he was Starbuck's biological father.
     He'd offered Cassie dinner, which she'd accepted, although she had
eaten little.  They enjoyed quiet companionship, speaking of matters of
little importance until a group of Warriors on furlon entered.
     They were old friends:  Starbuck, Boomer, and Jolly!  Greetings were
exchanged from across the room.  Cassie smiled for Boomer and Jolly, but
wouldn't meet the gaze of Chameleon's son.  Chameleon sensed her
discomfort and made appropriate excuses to the Warriors.
     "Would you like to go now?  I'll be glad to escort you back to your
quarters..."
     Discreetly, they escaped to the shuttle bay.  Chameleon had never
noticed that Cassie could appear so vulnerable, so young and uncertain. 
Her confidence allowed her to thrive in the post-war fleet, but now she
bowed her head and stepped behind and aside Chameleon.  Not quickly
enough.
     Sheba and Apollo had seen her.  Sheba approached, dragging a
reluctant Apollo along.  Apollo would not meet either Chameleon or
Cassiopeia's eyes, thus assuring Chameleon of the cause of Cassiopeia's
distress.
     To her credit, Cassie greeted both Warriors warmly, even embracing
Sheba.  Despite their initial dislike for one another, they had become
close friends.  Chameleon was surprised that Sheba was unaware of her
friend's distress.  Apollo, on the other hand, was as uncomfortable as
Chameleon had ever seen him.
     Chameleon put an arm around Cassiopeia, once again made an
appropriate excuse about not feeling well himself and led her away.  Her
fake smile faded immediately and she sighed her relief.
     Sheba stood watching them depart.  Apollo caught her hand in his and
attempted to lead her out of the bay.
     "What was that about?" she asked Apollo.
     He dropped his head and mumbled, "Starbuck."
     Sheba suspected as much.  She felt sorry for her friend, but Cassie
was an adult.  She is beautiful, Sheba thought, and could have her choice
of men in the fleet.  Why choose the one that can't be had?  Sheba shook
her head.  Why indeed?  Look where she had set her own sights!
     Apollo was waiting.

     On board the shuttle, Cassiopeia thanked Chameleon for helping her
escape.  
     "What exactly, has the scoundrel done to you this time?"  Chameleon
asked kindly.  Cassie looked away without replying and he knew enough not
to pressure her.  She'd tell him in her own time or not at all.
     He loved his son, but the way Starbuck treated women, especially
Cassiopeia, was intolerable.  Someday he intended to take up the matter
with his son.  Still, he knew Starbuck cared deeply for Cassiopeia, had
even admitted to loving her.  Once he told Chameleon that he wanted to be
Sealed with her, eventually.  So why did he constantly push her away?
     Upon arrival at the Galactica, Chameleon guided Cassie back to her
quarters.  They somehow managed to avoid contact with most of the people
they passed.  She palmed her door security pad and the metal door slid
aside.  The tiny room was quiet and plain with medical tapes on shelves
and a small picture of Cassiopeia and Starbuck at some banquet or other. 
They were smiling as only lovers can.
     Chameleon felt rather as he had on his first date with Starbuck's
mother so many yahrens ago.  He kissed Cassie gently on the forehead and
turned to go.  He was surprised when she caught his hand in hers and
downright taken aback when she invited him inside.
     Cassie offered Chameleon the only chair in the tiny room and seated
herself on the sleeping berth.  For a long moment neither spoke.  Cassie
broke the silence with a deep sigh.
     "Starbuck's done nothing, except be Starbuck.  I am the one with the
problem."
     Chameleon listened with rising concern as Cassiopeia unburdened
herself.  She wept openly, telling Starbuck's father of her recent
conversation with his son.  When she was done, when her tears at last
subsided, Chameleon agreed, against his better judgment, to keep her
secret safe.  He left Cassiopeia's quarters feeling very old, but
understanding exactly the degree of her love for his son.


     After their last night together on the Rising Star, Starbuck saw
Cassiopeia periodically, but only in passing.  She acknowledged his
presence graciously, but there was always Warrior business for him to
attend to.  He was still attempting to regain Colonel Tigh's good graces. 
She was always working or studying her medical texts.
     Once he'd seen her having dinner with Chameleon on the Rising Star. 
She'd actually snubbed him then.  He thought he probably deserved it, but
he really wasn't sure why.
     He made a mental note to contact her when he returned from this
patrol.  He wanted to talk to her, although he had no idea what he would
say.  After all nothing had changed.  He felt as he felt and that was
simply the way things were.  Maybe he could just do a better job of
explaining himself.  His refusal to take the Seal was really for her. 
Didn't she understand that?  I was really protecting her, he
rationalized.  Next light cycle he'd find her and she'd come around.  She
always has before.
     This patrol had gone smoothly.  Too smoothly.  It was almost
disappointing.  Starbuck intended to make good on the promise to himself
to regain Cassiopeia's favor.  Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to
locate her.  No one answered his call at her compartment near the med
bay.  Members of the sanitation crew glanced questioningly as he stood
outside her door.  One woman glared back over her shoulder at him,
muttering something.
     "...good enough for him..."
     Great.  Just great.  Now even the sanitation crew has it in for me! 
What did I ever do to them?  The woman hadn't been particularly
attractive even at a distance...  Still, more than once, he'd regretted a
grog-influenced decision...  Had he?
     Who knew?  He surely didn't and probably never would.  He certainly
wasn't going to ask!
     Obviously, Cassie was not in her quarters or, if she was, she wasn't
admitting it.  Frak! He whispered, beginning to doubt himself.  This
could be more serious than I thought.  Maybe she gave up on me for the
time being, but if she did, and I doubt that, then she must be on the
Rising Star.
     A somewhat subdued Lieutenant Starbuck wandered back to Blue
Squadron's billet in search of Captain Apollo.  Blue Squadron just
received this sectar's pay and if he was going to the Rising Star
anyway...
     
     Apollo was solemnly watching Starbuck lose both their sectar's worth
of cubits playing Pyramid on the Rising Star when they were approached by
an agitated servitor.  Attempting to be discrete, but failing miserably,
the man whispered that he needed the Warrior's assistance.
     Starbuck was intent on his current hand of cards, losing miserably,
and trying to bluff his way into a winning hand.  Apollo dragged him
away, seeing the distraction as a way to save what was left of his own
sectar's pay.  Begrudgingly, Starbuck pocketed his few remaining cubits. 
Still grumbling, he followed Apollo, led by the servitor, into the
private dining compartments.  Had Apollo known what awaited them in the
private dining area, he would certainly have left Starbuck every cubit he
possessed to gamble away at the chancery.
     Down a secluded corridor, several doorways stood open, people were
milling about, murmuring.  They stood aside to allow the Warriors and
servitor to pass.  Starbuck cast a concerned glance at Apollo who
shrugged and continued.  The lieutenant had a funny feeling in the pit of
his stomach.
     He passed Chameleon, nodding and shrugging off his old friend's
questions.  The old man was in the company of a Sagittarian widow. 
Starbuck had seen them together recently and for some inexplicable
reason, the woman's presence with the old man irritated him.  He found
reason to avoid Chameleon's companion now by concentrating on cutting
through the gathering masses.
     The door at the end of the corridor was open, but blocked by a
Council Security Guard.  His back was to the open doorway and he appeared
genuinely relieved to see the Warriors.  That, in itself, was enough to
make Starbuck uncomfortable.  The "Black Shirts" were rarely glad to
share authority with Warriors.
     "What seems to be the problem?" Apollo asked the Black Shirt.  The
man shifted uncomfortably, then moved away from the doorway without
speaking.  Apollo walked past the man into the room.  He sincerely wished
someone had warned him about what was inside.
     Each private dining area aboard the Rising Star was beautifully
appointed with porthole views to the stars and the surrounding fleet. 
This one was no different.  Except that something was splattered on the
clearview port.  That same something was smeared in a handprint down one
wall.  And formed a dark puddle on the seating cushions.  Several microns
passed before Apollo comprehended everything he was seeing.  He stood in
the center of the room and turned a complete circle.  The motion added to
his nausea.
     Captain Apollo had seen nothing to rival this in his entire life. 
Having regained something of his composure, he brushed past the Black
Shirt and into the corridor.  Starbuck waited for him there.  The
Lieutenant was trying to get a coherent story from the two attending
servitors.  Both were semi-hysterical, almost to the point of becoming
mindwipes.  The captain understood their problem.  He'd seen it himself.
     He pulled his frustrated buddy away from the babbling attendants. 
"I think someone's been murdered," he stated frankly.
     "You think?" Starbuck questioned.  "It should be pretty obvious."
     "I can't be sure.  There is no body, but I'm relatively sure no
human could have survived that."
     Starbuck was really getting confused.  Murder, no body, couldn't
have survived?  Survived what?  Apollo sounded as much like a mindwipe as
the servitors.  The lieutenant decided to have a look for himself.  As he
turned to enter the room that was responsible for ruining his losing
streak at the chancery, Apollo grabbed his arm.  "I'm not sure you want
to do that," he said.
     Starbuck paused, cocked his head at his buddy and shrugged, "Okay."
     The confusion in the corridor was getting out of hand.  Civilians,
off-duty Black Shirts and Warriors crowded together to discover the
source of the excitement.  Near the back of the crowd someone tripped,
fell against someone else, and curses were exchanged.  It was enough to
shake the captain back to active authority.  His voice changed to one of
unquestionable authority as he directed the crowd to disperse.
     Slowly, muttering among themselves, the throng dissipated.  The
Warriors fixed their attentions on the somewhat calmer servitors.  "Do
you know anything about what happened?" Apollo asked.
     "No," they replied in unison, then stared at each other stupidly.
     Now the captain was getting frustrated.  "Okay, let's try this a
little differently.  Who discovered the..." Apollo's voice trailed as he
searched for the terminology to describe what he'd seen.  "...the crime
scene?" he finished.  That seemed appropriate, for murder or not, someone
had definitely been assaulted.
     "I did," the tall, thin servitor replied.
     "The woman who reserved the room - I don't remember her name, but
she was pretty, a Gemon, I think - she called for ambrosa to be served. 
It took a few centons to find what she requested.  But when I opened the
door, there was no one there, only....only all that," he concluded,
studying the floor tiles at his feet.  He could not bring himself even to
glance at the open doorway. 
     "I called for Kohl.  He remembered seeing Warriors in the chancery
and went for you."
     "That's about it," added the shorter man, Kohl, but there was a
question in his voice.  Apollo glared at the taller one.  The man shrunk
visibly under the captain's scowl.
     "I swear.  That's all I know!"
     "I need to see the reservations list," the short one, called Kohl,
requested and his colleague disappeared into an office compartment. Kohl
feared he knew the victim.  Surely no one could want to harm the lovely
Gemonese woman.  She was one of the few regulars he served who treated
him with genuine kindness.  Most of his regulars treated him as something
less than a man.  Perhaps it was his height, or lack thereof, or perhaps
it was his designation as a servitor.  During a brief conversation with
the woman, he thanked her for her kindness to him and she intimated that
she understood his feelings better than he could possibly imagine.  He
wondered then as he did now who could even begin to mistreat the gentle
lady.
     He knew the woman well, well enough to know the pet name only her
friends called her.  Cassie.
     "Starbuck, see if you can round up Boomer and Jolly and any other
senior Warriors.  I don't want cadets handling this."
     "Gotcha," Lt. Starbuck was already headed back to the entertainment
deck.  
     When Apollo turned back to the servitors and discovered the taller
one missing, he was royally pissed.
     "Where did he go?"
     Unwilling to risk Apollo's further wrath, Kohl simply shrugged.
     "Felgercarb.  Get me the reservations list for these compartments,"
the Warrior demanded.
     The list appeared from behind his left shoulder as if by magic.  The
previously missing servitor had returned with the evening's reservation
list for the private dining compartments.  Apollo studied it intently,
searching for the name that matched the compartment number.  Having at
last made sense of the reservation list, he traced a line to the
corresponding name.
     "Cassiopeia of Galactica and guest," he read.
     "Is this correct?  I've got the right reservation?" he inquired. 
Apollo's earlier nausea gave way to dizziness.  The dizziness facilitated
the dread rising in his mind.
     The tall man took the reservation list from Apollo.  "Yes,
Cassiopeia of Galactica and guest."
     "Are you certain?" Apollo very much wanted to wake up from this
unexpected nightmare.  Cassiopeia.  No.
     He turned away to face one of the hardest moments of his life.
     Starbuck was coming.
     Apollo turned the crime site over to Boomer and Jolly, requesting
that they leave everything untouched and seal the area off, then remain
on guard.  They looked askance at their friend, but knew better than to
question him.  Sometimes being best buddies with your immediate superior
had its drawbacks.
     Apollo led Starbuck into a deserted corridor just down from the
private dining areas.  Churning acid turned Starbuck's stomach. This was
bad.  He knew it was bad.  He had seen this degree of despair on his
friend's countenance only once before.
     When Serina died.
     Only then had Apollo dropped his personal defenses to allow tears to
course unashamedly down his cheeks.  Now his eyes were bright with unshed
tears.  He seemed so desolate that Starbuck felt sorry for him.
     Clearly, whatever was wrong with Apollo had to do with the scene in
the dining compartment.  Starbuck began a quick run-through of the
possibilities.  He accounted for everyone he knew, including Athena. 
Everyone except Cassie, but that couldn't be it.  The only reason she'd
have been in a private dining compartment would have been to wait for
him...
     "Look, Apollo.  Whatever it is... well, it can't be that bad..." he
began.
     Apollo held his friend at arm's distance, his hands on the
lieutenant's shoulders.  Dark foreboding clouded Starbuck's vision.  His
eyes locked with Apollo's and there he saw what the captain was unable to
speak aloud.
     "Cass?"
     He wanted Apollo to say something, anything that would change the
horrible tension that threatened to implode him.
     Apollo did not look away or nod or speak.  He just continued to gaze
into his friend's eyes.  What could he say?  How do you relate such
unspeakable events as had transpired just down the corridor?
     Starbuck was first to break eye contact.  He took a step back,
beginning to fall as his knees buckled.  Only the bulkhead behind him
kept him from landing on the floor.  He stayed there like that for a long
time.  His eyes filled with questions and tears.  And then he slid to the
deck.
     "What happened?  Who?  I ..."  Questions were chasing each other
around his mind with none escaping his mouth intact.  There was too much
to absorb.  Cassie is dead.  That idea rang hollow in the chaos, but he
could sense the truth of it.  He could see the veracity of it in Apollo's
eyes.
     Time passed.  Or maybe it stood still.  It didn't matter.  Time was
no longer a concrete notion for Starbuck.  Apollo understood.  When
Serina died, Apollo had spent weeks in a haze of perpetual motion.  He
moved from one pointless activity to the next with no sense of the
passage of time.  He felt then as he did now.  As though he were slogging
his way through an endless sea of quicksand.  Only knowing that Boxey was
more lost and uncertain than he was gave him the strength to survive
those first terrible weeks.  He would give Starbuck all the time he
needed.  Even if it meant he stood watch for him all night.
     "I want to see."  Somehow Starbuck had to find a way to grasp what
Apollo was telling him.  Or rather what Apollo wasn't telling him.
     "I have to see."
     The corridors leading back to the private dining compartments were
empty now.  Except for Chameleon.  He was standing in front of the
compartment he'd reserved for the evening.  All the others were empty.
     Starbuck passed without seeing his father or the Sagittarian widow
partially hidden in the doorway.  Apollo barely acknowledged them.
     Boomer and Jolly stood to either side of the doorway.  Their
questions were silenced by a gesture from Apollo.  By now they'd seen the
reservation list and the horror inside the compartment.  Starbuck paused
before entering.
     "Are you sure you want to do this?" Apollo asked, but he already
knew the answer.  His eyes reflected his friend's pain.
     Starbuck nodded.  And stepped inside.
     He smelled the metallic scent of drying blood long before he allowed
his eyes to focus on the scene.  Red liquid splattered the viewport, for
all the universe like glistening red stars falling from orbit, leaving
faint paths behind to mark their trails.  The seat cushions were
splattered with blood and the floor  was sticky with it.  A lethally
serrated dagger stabbed through the center cushion marking the largest
pool of blood.  A ripped scrap of red fabric was pinned in the midst of
the mess.  He knew the fabric from Cassie's favorite dress, the one with
a shawl that moved like wings.  Several strands of blonde hair clung to
the knife.
     He recognized the open travel bag lying on its side with the
contents strewn about.  He knelt beside it, all hope of some cruel
mistake fleeing as he picked up Cassiopeia's personal belongings.  He
knew the white dress with the ruffled cuffs.  She'd worn it to the
chancery on Carrillon.  The dark green outfit that showed her perfect
shoulders.
     Starbuck turned a complete circle in the small space.  His eyes
fixed on a handprint beside the door.
     "God, she must have fought.  Tried to get away...She was already
hurt..."  Somehow he had hoped if she had died, that it had been quickly,
but the handprint indicated otherwise.
     He left the compartment and stood silently in the doorway. 
Chameleon, Boomer, Jolly, and Apollo were talking in hushed tones.  The
Warriors had explained everything they knew to Starbuck's father, hoping
he might be of some comfort to his son.
     Apollo began to suspect Chameleon wasn't going to be very much help. 
He seemed eager to escape from, not comfort, his son.  Finally, he came
forward, placed a hand on his son's upper arm, mumbled something about
being sorry, then suddenly turned and strode back to his private dining
compartment.
     Starbuck didn't seem to notice anything amiss.  His friends fought
back their astonishment.
     Boomer tried to find something to say to his friend, but nothing
seemed appropriate.  Jolly didn't even try.  His voice broke every time
he opened his mouth.  He could only imagine how he'd feel if the
situation were reversed.
     Boomer and Jolly had things under control, med teams had been called
to gather evidence, along with the Chief Opposer.  A sanitation crew was
dispatched to clean up when they were through.  By tomorrow, there'd be
no sign of the tragedy that had occurred there.
     It was time for Starbuck to go.  It was very late in light cycle and
the few people they encountered on the shuttle back to Galactica were too
drunk or too hungover to ask any questions of the Warriors.
     Apollo took his friend to the private quarters he shared with Boxey. 
The child was sleeping soundly, Athena dozing at his side.  She was
surprised to see Starbuck enter with her brother.  Immediately, she knew
something was wrong and began to question them.  Apollo shook his head to
silence her.  She took the hint and started for the door.  Apollo
gestured for her to wait while he walked Starbuck to the sleeping berth
and sat him down.  Starbuck fell rather than laid down on the berth. 
Apollo pulled a warmer over his friend.
     "What in Hades?" Athena asked.
     Once again, Apollo silenced her with a stern look.  He ushered his
sister into the hallway and briefly explained.
     Athena was horrified.  Murder was almost unheard of in the fleet. 
And Cassie.  She didn't like the woman, but only because the
ex-socialator had stolen Starbuck's heart when she wasn't able to do so
herself.
     She put aside her jealousy and offered to take Boxey for the next
few cycles.  Until things settled down.  Apollo accepted gratefully.  He
picked up his still sleeping son and laid him in Athena's arms.

     Apollo lay in his son's sleeping berth that night, not sleeping, but
replaying Serina's death over and over in his mind.  Experiencing the
elation at the victorious battle with the Cylons on Kobol.  Although he'd
initially objected to her becoming a Warrior, he was proud of his new
bride.  She'd fought well.  The disbelief and crushing pain he'd felt
when she cried out to him.  Hoping Salik could work some miracle to save
her.  Knowing her body could not possibly survive the Cylon's deadly
laser blast.  Wondering how he'd raise his new son alone.
     Starbuck lay still.  As far as Apollo could tell in the darkness his
friend hadn't moved since he'd fallen into the sleeping berth.
     By first cycle, everyone knew about the murder.  Ensign Giles
discovered the note on Starbuck's unused sleeping berth.  He took it to
Apollo's quarters.  Knocked softly at the door.
     "I thought Starbuck might want to see this.  Some of the men saw
Cassie leave it on his berth just before light cycle.  Can you tell him
we're sorry?"
     He left before Apollo could reply.
     Apollo turned around and was nose-to-nose with Starbuck.  He was
startled to see his friend standing behind him.
     "What did he bring?"
     Apollo handed him the note without speaking.
     Starbuck opened the folded message, caught the scent of Cassie's
perfume.  He read the note twice, allowed it to fall from his hand as he
left the room.
     Apollo retrieved the fallen message wondering if he should read it. 
His concern for his friend's emotional state overcame concern for his
privacy.

Please meet me in the Hand of God after your patrol.  It's important.
                                                                       
Cassie

     He was sure Starbuck had gone to the "Hand of God," a private,
romantic place the two Warriors had often frequented with Cassie and
Sheba.  Starbuck would want time alone there and Apollo would give him
that, but he intended to be nearby just in case.
     Starbuck entered the main thruster compartment without wearing the
equipment that would protect his hearing from the roar of Galactica's
engines.  Even the massive throbbing of the battlestar's heartbeat could
not silence his questions.
     What happened?  Why were you there?  Who would want to hurt you?
     He ascended the ladder to the celestial chamber and allowed the
hatch to slam closed behind him, shutting out the roar, leaving only the
silent vibration behind.
     He'd long since mastered the controls that opened the saligium
plates.  They fell away like the peel of an exotic fruit revealing the
stars separated only by clear tylinium plastishield.  To sit at the
elevated control panel made one feel as though he were sitting in the
hand of God, Apollo had once said.  Starbuck was drawn to this place to
cry out his despairing questions.
     He was about to settle into the control seat when he saw the box.  A
small wooden trinket box he'd given Cassie shortly after they met.  An
apology for an indiscretion with an old flame.  He'd hurt Cassie then,
but she'd been waiting when he returned.  He realized she'd spent a lot
of time waiting on him to return to her.  He held the box, caressing it
as he wished he could caress its owner.  Opening the box, he discovered
another handwritten letter.

Starbuck, 
     I'm sorry to have to leave you with only a letter.  I wanted to say
good-bye in person.  I waited as long as I could.
     I've come to accept that some things are not meant to be, no matter
how much we may want them.  I hope you can understand that and be happy
for me.
     I've found something that makes me as happy as flying makes you. 
Just as you love flying through space in your Viper, just as you would no
longer be Starbuck if you could not fly, I can no longer be true to
myself if I give up my greatest dream.
     You must know that I love you, that I always will love you, and that
I will treasure the memory of our time together.
                                                     My love forever,
                                                     Cassie

     Starbuck folded the note and laid it on the control panel.  Inside
the box he found a picture of himself with Cassie.  She was smiling. 
Already he missed her smile, the smile she reserved for him alone.  The
gold cluster he'd given her fell into his hand.  He couldn't believe
she'd kept it.  She'd been so angry with him when she discovered he'd
given its twin to Athena on the same evening.

     Apollo reached the main thruster compartment determined to wait for
his friend, although he hadn't slept in almost two days.  He slumped to
the deck in a shadowed corner, mostly out of sight of the celestial
chamber's hatch.  He would wait as long as needed.
     When he awoke, Starbuck was slumped against bulkhead, on the deck 
beside him.  Apparently, Starbuck had done the waiting.  He was holding a
delicately carved wooden box.  Apollo recognized the box he'd helped his
friend choose as an apology gift for Cassiopeia.
     They sat that way for a very long time, not speaking, each with his
own thoughts of what might have been.



A note of explanation...
This is the first of three "Revelations" stories intended to begin a
bridge between "The Hand of God" episode and Armageddon by Richard Hatch. 
Most of the characters are tried and true from the episodes, some are
from Hatch's books, and some are my family's creation.  The stories are
intended for our entertainment and have succeeded in that forum.  If
someone else can derive some pleasure from the stories, then we will be
very happy to have contributed to the BSG fan fiction pool.  Please
remember that these stories may conflict with other stories.  This is
just our idea of how some things might have worked out...
Thanks for reading and your opinion, positive or negative, is
appreciated...
Charli_b@adelphia.net