The Essay Barb Conway Feb 2, 1999 Dedication: To everyone on the list with kids. And to those on the list whose bodies just kept on getting taller despite their best efforts. :) Huge Thanks: To Cassie and Tracy, resident kid experts. Disclaimer: Glen Larson gets credit for everything here except the story idea and the language. Don't sue me, I have no money! Why I was Bad by Boxey Today at instructional period I was kinda bad so teacher said I hafta write her a essay about how come. Two whole pages she said. I called Yrin a ugly boray. I didn't mean to but she was teasing me again. I hate it when she does that. She said my Dad could come home anytime he wanted to except he didn't want me anymore. I know it's not true but it makes me mad anyway. So I called her a name. I hope my Dad does come home soon cuz he'll understand. He says Aunt Athena usta tease him all the time when they were little and he usta get in trouble with Gramma Ila cuz Aunt Athena's a girl. My Dad is a warrior. He flies a viper and protect's the fleet from the cylons. He is the captain of Blue Skuadren with Starbuck and Boomer and Jolly and Giles and Greenbean and a bunch of other pilots in it they are the best pilots on the Galactica. Im gonna be a viper pilot like my Father when I grow up. Maybe someday I will even get to be Commander like my Grandfather. I will have to know a lot of stuff to be Commander. Adama has been in a lot of battles. More even than my Dad and Starbuck. That is why he is so smart and gets to lead the fleet. Grandfather knows a lot about Earth so he decides what quadrint we should go to next to get there. Ackshally Commander Adama isn't really my Grandfather but he says he is and it doesn't matter anyway. My real dad died a long time ago I think. My Mom didn't say much about him. My Dad. Apollo I mean. He says maybe she was going to tell me when I got older but she cant now because she died last yahren. Her name is Serina and she was pretty. Apollo and her got sealed when we were in the Kobol void. I got to be her protector. But then a cylon shot her and my Dad Apollo couldn't save her. I didn't want her to go but Dad said her spirit would always be with us. I think that is why hes scared of Sheba. Shebas a really nice lady warrior from Silverspar Skwadren. She flies a viper like my Dad and he says shes really good too he likes her but I think he misses my Mom a lot and he gets kinda mixed up when Sheba looks at him. I know how he feels cuz sometimes I still miss Mom a lot too. Specially when Dad is gone on a mission. When I feel like I need a hug and my Dads not here I get one from Aunt Athena. She's funny and real nice to me she tells me funny storie's about when she and my Dad and Uncle Zac were kids like me. Except Uncle Zac died and I never got to meet him. Sometimes Sheba looks after me too and shes nice too. I think thats why my Dad likes her. Maybe if he finishes getting mixed up with her they can get sealed too. That would be okay cuz shes nice to my Dad too. And sometimes Starbuck or Boomer or Giles looks after me. Starbuck is the best pilot except my Dad and he has Starbuck luck and thats why hes good at shooting cylons. Starbuck needs more luck with Cassie. She looks after me too sometimes and shes nice but she makes me an Muffit go to bed on time. Starbuck and Boomer always let's me stay awake with them. Starbuck teaches me games with piramid cards but we never bet. We did once and Cassie found out and she got mad at Starbuck. He says he scorned her or something and women get real mad when they get scorned. I don't think I scorned her cuz she never got mad at me like that. She really like's Starbuck though thats why she gets mad when he does something wrong. Which is a lot so its good she likes him so much. My Dad or Boomer usually helps Starbuck out when hes in a jam. Boomer says a jam is where you get stuck somewhere you don't wanna be and you can't get out by yourself. Boomer helps Starbuck in jams a lot. He helps me lots too with my homework. He plays computer triad with me and some other games at the rejuvinashun center. Hes pretty good but he always bets me a mushie and I always win. I think he gets more nervis when we play for a mushie. Boomer never gets nervis in his viper when hes with Dad and Starbuck. Except when Starbuck has one of his great ideas. I don't know how come its such a great idea if it makes them get in jams but thats what Boomer calls it anyway. I hope my Dad and Starbuck arent in a jam now. They had to go fly a patrol to check a planet and they arent back yet. They were sposed to be back today but they had to stay out on patrol for a while longer. So I miss my Dad and I want him to come home cuz I love him. An Muffey don't sleep so good when hes away so I hafta stay awake to keep him compny. So thats how come I got mad and if my Dad gets back t'night then maybe I won't get mad if Yrin teases me tomorrow. The end by Boxey.